Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Christmas in Thailand: Day 6 - The Perfect Storm

DAY SIX:

On December 22nd, we went on a 4 island snorkeling tour in Koh Lanta! We were really excited to get some good snorkeling in as we hadn’t snorkeled yet because the beaches we had been to so far were pretty shallow.

So how can I describe the island tour other than calling it that scene from The Perfect Storm! Sweet Jesus, I have never experienced rockier waters than this damn boat tour. Christ, I’m still nauseous from it! First of all, we were on this rickety canoe with a top, which is hardly a “boat” more than a piece of wood wobbly floating on water. There were many boat rides. After a bumpy tuktuk ride to the pier, we boarded a rickety ass boat and boated to another boat and another boat, each boat more decrepit than the last! This whole time it was windy and raining on and off. Nevertheless, B and I smiled the whole time because we were feeling lucky to be having a cool experience in Thailand. My Lord did I ever feel motion sick though. Luckily, I brought a sniffer thing (smelling salts for motion sickness) and sniffed it probably 2/3 of the way. I was groggy and spaced out of my face by the time we got to our second snorkel destination.

Our second snorkel destination was into the EMERALD cave (the part I was looking forward to the most on the tour!), which turned into a grotto! It was unbelievable and I’m sure I would have enjoyed it more had I been able to see (no glasses because of the choppy waters and the fact that I was swimming) and not been so damn nauseous the whole time. Regardless of all the obstacles, it was incredible! We were given life jackets and lined up in the water to follow a guide through a cave into the grotto. It was practically pitch black and the waters were choppy as hell and I was feeling like Helen Keller in water so naturally I was pissing myself. But seriously, I was in the ocean, so I was peeing the whole time which was the only way to calm myself from the harrowing experience of swimming in the pitch black hearing echoing of people laughing and yelling and shrieking (that was me) as we moved along to the grotto. I reached in front of me and held onto what I thought was Bernard but turned out to be a Dutch chick who was very nice about me clawing at her back in fear.

As I swam through the journey to hell, I saw a teeny tiny light that grew bigger and bigger as we neared it. I paddled happily towards the light and came out into this cylindrical grotto. It was amazing and honestly really hard to describe!




^ Blog about the 4 islands tour that has pictures showing the grotto and tunnel cave (sort of)
I found a blog from a girl who went there and obviously had a waterproof camera so she took some pictures, so here you go. The pictures do not do it justice at all! It was really cool and I felt like I was on Survivor or something. The whole time though, I was swallowing and breathing myself into calmness and trying my best not to projectile vom in this beautiful place.

It was hard to see many fish because of the torrential waves and rain, but we managed to see some and stay reasonably not freezing. Finally, it was time for lunch and although I was hungry, my nauseous overpowered every feeling imaginable so I ate as much as I could knowing it would help my tummy feel better and then I just chilled on the beach where we parked for lunch until dark and ominous clouds reached us faster than expected and it bucketed down rain! People were screaming and rushing to the boat, but we took this opportunity to enjoy a rainshower swim since we were already wet anyway. A few people on the boat followed suit and we all tried to enjoy the inconvenient weather.

After trying to wait out the rain, the guide told us to get in the boat so we could head home. It took hours. HOURS! Again, this was like The Perfect Storm. The boat was practically vertical at one point. I kept my eyes closed and wrapped my soaking wet dress around my cold ass and prayed for safety. With every exhalation, I was impressed to not have vomited so I counted my lucky stars. Even Bernard said he felt really sick. I squeezed his hand and he squeezed mine and we yoga breathed our way back to dry land. I all but kissed that damn ground when we got off that frigging boat! Calling the waves torrential would be an understatement. I really cannot believe no one got sick. Maybe they did and my eyes were shut and my brain was screaming at that point so I didn’t realize. Who knows!

Anyway, we tuktuked back to the hotel with a bunch of miserable passengers. B and I were smiling and super excited to not be on the boat anymore and to have had the experience, but we were really glad to get off the bitter bus and skipped into our hotel where we told the front desk about our crazy, rainy times. She apologized for the weather which was sweet but unnecessary and wished us a happy rest of our time in Koh Lanta. Everyone in Thailand is nice. Period.

After a hot shower which was the best thing in the universe after a freezing and chilly boat ride through Jaws: Thailand edition, we had a traditional Thai dinner at a cute little place called Krua Nidnoy right on the beach. The place was super cute and placed some serious 90’s beats like Spice Girls which we chair danced to as we ate our spring rolls, curry, and hot pan (a pan that was literally on fire!)


After dinner, we met one of Bernard’s work friends and his wife for drinks and spent a beautiful evening lounging on the beach and sharing Thailand stories.

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