“Can I do this?”
I’ve been teaching in Abu Dhabi for 5 months. The first day
scared the living daylights out of me: how can these kids be so ruthless and
inconsiderate? How can everyone around me mind her own business and not help me
when I need it, badly? How can someone tell me to be stricter and yell at the
students instead of smile and be patient with them? What did I get myself into?
I’ve developed a pretty consistent routine. Despite the lack
of consistency in my students – some of them refuse to do their work or listen,
some of them stomp on tables, some of them scream and shriek so loud I don’t
know why my ears don’t bleed more often – despite all of this, I feel like I,
as a teacher, have a decent handle on my teaching style and its effectiveness.
I look students in the eye. I get down to their level and ask them questions. I
go by the book, yes, but I understand where the book ends and I begin. I use kinesthetic
learning to engage the students; for example, we are doing a unit on telling
time and I always use my arms as the minute and hour hands to ask students what
time it is. I use my tone to show
importance and I try my BEST to not use volume to show my anger levels.
I won’t lie: this week was ROUGH. After the Christmas break,
I felt refreshed and ready for what my school was going to throw at me. I
didn’t expect to feel so good the first week. I felt on top of my game and
just, happy. I felt patient and effective. I felt positive and confident. I
felt loved by my students.
The second week, I started to get a little impatient. One of
my students is out of control. He consistently disrupts my lessons and the
other students. The other students are upset when he is in the class. He
negatively influences the others. He hits, yells, swears, runs around, and is a
major distraction. I’ve dealt with it because he mainly bothered me, but the
second week of 2013, I noticed he was greatly distracting the other students to
the point of some not being able to work comfortably in class. Last week, he
swore at a student, let’s call him M (he said something really rude about this
student’s mother…? It was in Arabic, so I am unsure… but I know he said
something bad!). The next day, M’s mother called me and asked me how M was
doing. I said M was doing very well and that she shouldn’t worry about grades
or behaviour (M is an excellent student although a little shy). I was worried
M’s mom was going to bring up the swearing issue and how it affected M. She
didn’t. She told me M wanted to go to school today because there was a test but
that he didn’t feel well: he had a tummy ache and a headache.
I remember being 7. Typically, when something happened at
school where I felt threatened or upset or scared, I often felt physically
sick. Maybe I’m reading too much into a child’s tummy ache, but I immediately
thought that the child felt “sick” because he was afraid of this student and
what he might do to him in class. I feel this way about this student every day.
I felt that the class dynamic was negative and I was always angry and it was
unfair to my other students.
I approached my coordinator about this problem student. I
told her I had brought him to the VP several times for similar problems:
swearing, hitting, disrespect, distraction, etc. I told her that something HAD
to happen. She visited the class and spoke with the student… for the tenth
time.
So once again he came up to me with a sad look on his face
and said “sorry miss.” I knelt down and I said “Sorry is a word. You must show
me you are sorry. If you do not show me you are sorry, I don’t want you in my
class. I only teach good, respectful students.”
The coordinator agreed that the next “bad” thing he did, I
should call her and he would be removed from my class. I called her the next
day almost immediately as the student had, predictably, broken one of my rules:
speaking in Arabic during an English class. Not only did he yell in Arabic, he
swore. She came to the class and took him to the VP. I resumed my lesson with
ease. With this student out of the class, I could concentrate and so could the
other students. My coordinator brought the student back and informed me that if
ANYthing else happened, he would be out of the school! I sighed and assumed
that this would go on for the rest of the year: “One more chance, but if you do
anything, I will come back and yell at you. And then you’ll get one more
chance… and one more chance… etc.”
I felt pretty defeated. That weekend, I reflected a bit but
I tried my best to ignore school and just have a nice weekend. I couldn’t help
but think: if I can’t “handle” this student, I must be a bad teacher. He has
defeated me and I’m just trying to get rid of him instead of dealing with him.
Then I realized, no, this was a situation that I didn’t deserve, and if it
could be remedied, I should remedy it! I developed a head cold and slept a lot
that weekend.
On Sunday morning (the first day of a school week in AD), I
was feeling really under the weather. I had a little hop to my step because,
when it all comes down to it, I effing LOVE teaching and it always makes me
feel better! I was on my game but the students could sense I was off due to my
impending illness. I spoke to the whole class in the morning about behaviour
and how if they broke the rules and acted out of line, they would be removed
from the class. I was pretty stern. The problem student just smiled – he knew
little to nothing would happen. That’s the way it works in this school… all
talk and no action…
Sunday came and went. The student was a real headache. I
gave him three warnings. I didn’t have the energy to call my coordinator and
get her to come retrieve the student and explain everything. I just wanted to
go home.
In the last period, I decided to have a personal
conversation with every student. I went around while they were working (or
trying to work…) and asked “how are you?”, “how was your weekend?”, “what’s
your favourite colour?”, “do you like English?”, etc. Most of the students were
delighted to have some one-on-one time with me that wasn’t me yelling. Most of
them seemed pretty happy, but as a whole, the class was still very rowdy and
ignorant to my rules. When I asked them to quiet down, they got louder, knowing
that I really didn’t care and that I just wanted to go home and sleep off my cold.
I came to the problem student and pulled up a chair. Another
student had just informed me that he swore at her and pushed her. I sighed.
We’ll call him D. “D, what can I do for you?” He shrugged.
“D, I need to know what you need and want for you to behave in this class.”
Miss, I want art. “Well, you’ll get to have art if you behave. Why do you hit?
Why do you swear? Do you remember that Ms. Sarah cried yesterday?” He nodded.
“Do you remember why?” He smiles a bit. I get a little pissed. “D, you must
behave please! This is my final warning. We can be best friends if you show me
respect. I love you, so I would like you to treat me nice, okay?” He says okay.
I smile and go back to my desk. As I sit in my chair, I hear Arabic. I turn
around and a student tells me that D said “I hope the chair breaks and you
fall.” At this point, I was almost in tears. I decided to ignore it and just go
home defeated. I cried before signing out and leaving the school. When I got
home, I told Bernard that tomorrow, D would be out of my class forever.
Monday morning: I came into the class with my game face on.
All the students sat and I again reminded them of my behaviour rules. D was
actually okay for the first little while. I was almost impressed until he
shouted Arabic. Instead of saying “strike one” like usual, I went to the class
phone, dialed the coordinator, and said “D is done.” She said, okay tell him to
pack his bag and I’ll come get him when I can. I was nervous that she wasn’t
going to come, but I told him to get his bag and pack it and that he was
leaving. At this point, all the students looked worried. I retrieved ALL his
books (these students have about thirty textbooks of various size!) and gave
them to him. He kept saying “miss, I sorry” and I said, “you were sorry
yesterday. You were sorry last week. I won’t have it anymore. I’m done.” By the
time my coordinator came, it was time for computer class and the computer
teacher came in and asked why D was leaving. I told her why. She said that he
could go to computer class. I stood my ground. “That’s fine, but when computer
is finished, he will not come back to my class.” She asked me if I was sure and
to give him a break – he was just a kid! I said no and repeated, “he will NOT
come back to my class.” Fortunately, my coordinator agreed. It was a HARD day.
All day, many people tried to return him to my class, saying that he was crying
to come back to Ms. Sarah’s class and that he was sorry. I said, sorry is a
word and again he is NOT allowed back in my class. How many times did I have to
say it?!
Long story short, D has been out of my class for two days.
We’ll see what next week brings, but my coordinator and I are on the same page.
She said he will not be returning and for me to not worry about it. I’m not
worried! I’ve got 21 wonderful students – some give me a REALLY hard time, but
I can handle them. I feel like a teacher now. I feel like I was listened to. I
am SO glad to hear from my colleagues that I did the right thing for me AND the
student. Obviously, he needs a different environment to learn in and I cannot
help him succeed. I don’t have the proper training and skill to teach a
troubled student who really should be in kindergarten, if that. His academics
were atrocious and his behaviour was worse.
Anyway, yesterday I heard “good for you” and
“congratulations” and “don’t worry. This doesn’t make you any less of a
teacher” and let me tell you, I felt empowered and confident again. I still had
a very hard week. I cried a lot and I questioned my abilities as a teacher and
a powerful authority figure in the classroom. This experience has allowed me to
look at myself and realize that I care so much about people that I had to do
something to make my class succeed. In two days, I have accomplished more than
I have in all of January with my class! I am hopeful for the future of me, my
class, and D. I don’t want to be mad anymore and hopefully now I won’t be as
mad as before.
Drawings from my students.
If a student talks during a test, I draw a big black dot on his or her page. They hate it! This student spoke out during a test, so I had to put a dot on his page. He's normally a very good kid. As you can see, he said "sorry" for talking. This is the first time a student has apologized for talking during a quiz! I'm so proud of him. I can't wait to thank him in person.
Update: Four days have passed since D left my class. It is calmer
and the participation levels are higher. I have faith that students are no
longer scared to come to my class. The shy students are more eager to run up to
me during a work period and show me a drawing or their homework. I am more
tolerant of “bad” behaviour and I feel in control of more situations. I feel
like I know how the students feel now and I feel like they, and I, are happier.
I feel great. I loving teaching and I know my limits. I think this does not
make me a bad teacher who doesn’t now how to deal with a student. On the contrary,
I think this makes me a great teacher who can solve problems and move on.
Tomorrow is a new day! ß
Is there anything more refreshing than that?!
