To say I was excited about visiting the orphanage just before CNY would be the understatement of the year. Since I
last visited, Guo, one of my little unrepaired cleft babies, was getting her
bilateral cleft lip and palate repaired. The last time I saw her, I saw a very
spacious gap between her nose and her upper lip. Now, I would be able to see
her fully formed smile. I couldn’t wait!
As per usual, I hopped the subway with a good book and
nestled in a seat for a long ride up to Xujian village. Luckily, Shanghai metro
opened an extension on Line 12 which is the line I ride to get to the
orphanage. So now instead of two transfers, I only have to transfer once and
the ride is much shorter and more convenient. All the more reason to continue
my charitable act of play and support twice a month at Shanghai Healing Home!
I was met with a load of very young volunteers and I started
to feel like I had very little in common with most of the volunteers I met.
Nevertheless, this wasn’t about me; it was about the sweet faces I got to see
brighten up at the sight of a slew of volunteers ready for hugs and energetic
playtimes. Besides, it didn’t matter that most of the volunteers were young,
spritely university or high school students. As long as they wanted to share
the love, I guess that was the most important thing we had in common.
I bounced in and immediately got to work wiping down the
toys. Once again, I was the veteran of the group, so I was given a bit of a
leadership role and instructed the other volunteers about the day ahead of us.
Now everyone knows that babies, children, general small
creatures are unpredictable. That being said, we volunteers actually had to
wait quite a while because someone didn’t want to wake up from their naps! We
actually got to go upstairs and watch as they stretched out of their cribs and
into our arms. It was so cute!!
As I waited for the toddlers, I peaked into the newborn
nursery which I don’t normally frequent. I saw a couple new faces in there and
one specifically caught my eye. She was a teeny tiny little thing who couldn’t
have been older than a few months with a cleft lip very similar to my own when
I was a newborn. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I wanted to climb into
that nursery and wake her up so I could see her inevitably beautiful eyes, but
my mama taught me never to wake a sleeping baby!
Then I saw Aaron, the director. He recognized me and nodded
my way. I went over to him and looked at him inquisitively. “She’s here, but
not for long. I’m glad you came! Guo will be going to America in a couple of
days.” Yes!! I was so lucky to be able to see my sassy diva one last time
before she would be adopted to a place full of hope for her!
I went into the toddler room and hung out with a variety of
sweethearts. Most were fighting over who got to sit on my lap. I made room for
about three, but one stubborn little guy wasn’t satisfied and sprawled across
three little laps so he could claim space in my presence. I laughed but the
others whined so I stretched out my legs and decided that it would be better to
sit in a circle and pass the ball around (I could be shared, guys!) This
definitely didn’t work. As soon as I stretched my legs and propped the babies
up around me, one sneaky little girl (the same older one that called me Mama so
often) swooped in and shuffled her little bum so that she was seated against
me. She then grabbed my arms and hugged me as if to claim her territory.
Just then, Guo waltzed in. I could tell it was her from her
sassy walk. She wasn’t facing me so I couldn’t see her repaired cleft. She was,
however, making lots of noise. I think repairing her lip gave her flexibility
in her face to compose sounds more than just “Ahhhh!” She “dada, mama, baba,
wawa”ed all around the room and finally caught my eye.
She ran over to me and jumped into my arms. “Hey Guo!!” I
said with a huge smile on my face. “I missed you!” She hugged me, got up, and
waltzed away. I followed her with my eyes around the room. She was the same
dominant personality, but now with a very happy face – and it showed! She
looked calmer and in less pain. She looked more aware and her face emoted more
because it was whole. I was so happy and couldn’t stop staring at her.
I also brought a couple of stuffed toys to the orphanage
this time. A coworker of mine gave me some Happy Meal toys and told me to give
them to my students. I said, “Screw that! These are going to the healing home
with me” and she laughed and thought
that was a great idea.
When I brought out three tiny, stuffed bunnies, every baby
turned and gaped at them. Even the ayis (nannies) were excited to see something
new. I got the impression that new toys didn’t come to the healing home on a regular basis and that
it was probably by donation only.
It was adorable watching the kids stroke the bunnies
gingerly and then seeing Guo viciously rip a bunny out of my hand and instantly
put it in her mouth. I guess it was much easier for her to bite down on things
now so that’s all she wanted to do. She even grabbed the strings of my hoodie
and tried to chew on them.
I let the newness of the bunny toys waft over a room full of
toddlers and went back to the newborn nursery.
She was awake! I cautiously entered the room, sanitized my
hands, and hovered over the tiniest baby that I was looking at before. I got a
big smile and a shy glance. She put her tiny hands over her face and peaked at
me through her little fists. I placed my hand on her tummy and realized that I
could essentially grab her tummy in its entirety – that’s how small she was! I
just made faces at her and talked to her for a little while and didn’t bother
trying to pick her up. She did look very comfortable in her sleeper after all.
I learned a lot about the orphans this time around at the
Healing Home. Aaron told us about each of their conditions and it broke my
heart to hear that it wasn’t primarily aesthetic conditions – liver cancer,
brain tumor, stroke at birth leaving half her body paralyzed (that was the “mama”
girl who loved sitting in my lap). One baby had a heart condition and whenever he
got worked up, his lips would turn blue and he’d get very weak. Then there was
the more obvious cleft lip, extra fingers and toes, FAS, and other conditions
leaving these babies looking a little different than your average baby.
I always feel amazing after I leave SHH, but this time I was
exhausted. I had been left in a room with about 4 small toddlers for 20 minutes
at one point and man was that tough. I’m still not extremely confident around
babies OR toddlers for that matter, but I know they love me and enjoy my
energy. I will continue to visit SHH and I hope that I meet another little one
who I grow attached to like Guo and Hua. Maybe that newborn baby will be my new
obsession… I did fall in love at first sight! Who wouldn’t? Look at this face!
Yours,
Sarah the Maternal Wun
