Chapter Six: Disgustingly
romantic and totally better than The Notebook
So remember how I said the hats at the gift shop were like
the price of Donald Trump’s house? Yeah, so we clearly didn’t buy hats, but we
needed some sort of protection. I wore my scarf a la Abu Dhabi and Bernard
tried to stay out of the sun and keep his hair wet as much as possible.
We decided to take a walk on the beach when the sun started
to go down so it wasn’t as hot and we could enjoy ourselves more. We walked the
perimeter of the hotel’s private beach and ventured even further onto the
public beach.There were way more people on this beach, chilling out in the sand
and staring at us (I was bikini clad and Bernard is just beautiful…so, it makes
sense). We glanced up towards the road and saw an old woman with a table filled
with, wait for it, HATS! We clambered up the sand and up the stone steps to
this rickety table. Ni hao! She smiled and picked up a few hats which we tried
on. They were really decent panama hats all in different colours. Bernard tried
a grey, black, and brown. I tried a red, blue, and bright pink. We asked how
much and she said 25Y a piece. Amazing. 50Y for both? That’s cheaper than
buying an orange juice at the resort!
Bernard patted his lack of pockets and realized we were in
our bathing suits! We quickly attempted to mime that we’d be back with money
and dashed towards our private beach. It wasn’t a far walk, but the sand was
really hot and we sunk deeper into it with every step, so I for one was pretty
tired when we got back to the hat lady. Also, we hadn’t eaten since the
executive lounge.
We happily gave the woman a 50Y and she happily gave us two
matching panama hats. We were SO happy! Between the free sandals in the hotel
and the very cheap and nice looking hats, we didn’t have to spend a million
yuan in the gift shop! The only thing we purchased from it was sunblock, which
was almost medically necessary!
Now we could walk around in the sun and I wouldn’t get
sunstroke! Even Bernard was feeling the heat, and you all know his Asian ass is
immune to everything! THAT’S how hot it was. We finished up the last few sips
of our drinks that we took from the executive lounge and left the beach.
The first night in Sanya Bernard and I were really tired by
the end of the night. We had been browsing and exploring the place in the hot
ass sun all day and we had to wake up at like 5am to catch our flight. It was a
crazy but awesome day. We went back to the hotel after a late afternoon swim
and decided it was dinnertime.
I mentioned before that there were many dinner options to
choose from at the Narada resort. All of them were fairly pricy, but it’s a
resort so it is expected. Bernard and I got all fancied, sporting our new hats,
and headed out to check out the cuisine options. We walked by many of the
restaurants, none of which seemed popping with crowds. We really wanted to try
this poolside bar, Shades and Waves,
but the stupid place closed at 5pm and it was almost 9pm by this time! Stupid…
We were moseying along when we heard some music. I thought
it was karaoke, so I immediately got excited. It was coming from the German
restaurant!
We purused the menu and decided to check it out. We walked along a
bridge to a huge patio and actually saw some people sitting and having a beer
while listening to two lovely women singing typical Western classics such as
“Starships” by Nicki Manaj.
We sat down and placed our order. Bernard ordered a
Thuringer (I don’t remember…) sausage with mustard and hot sauerkraut. I
ordered a more pronounceable sausage with a unique potato salad with hot
mustard. I also ordered a plate of fries because I assumed the sausage would be
insufficient to feed my large appetite, and I’m a fatty at heart who always
eats for 5. Aka I was really jonesing for a burger and fries-type meal.
The napkin holder and us sporting our new hats!
OMG! The sausages were definitely bigger than I thought but
they weren’t like IHOP big and uncomfortable to eat. They were perfectly
portioned and straight up German-ly German. We also got a basket of multigrain
breads and pretzels with three different kinds of butter. POSH! Bernard also
ordered a German beer which came with a side of bar nuts. I did not order a
drink because beer was cheaper than bottled water, and this bitch doesn’t play
that. Seriously… for those of us who don’t drink, many places in China hate us…
Sidebar: Whenever we go to a happy hour, the booze is cheaper than the
non-booze. I went to a happy hour yesterday and there were select martinis for
45Y and mocktails were 58Y. FOR WHY?!?!?! So I had an Appletini and giggled a
lot and was loud… what of it…
Anyway, We feasted on gorgeous sausages and breads and just
enjoyed ourselves. We chatted about our first date and clapped enthusiastically
after each song the ladies sang. We chair danced in our seats to the upbeat
80’s songs and swayed back and forth to the love ballads.
So the ladies paused to take a break, but not before saying
“We take requests”. Bernard gasped and flagged the waiter down. He quickly
asked for a pen and jotted something down on a napkin. He then asked the waiter
to bring it up to the ladies singing. The one woman looked at the napkin and
scrunched up her face. Bernard was like, hmmm, maybe she doesn’t know the song.
So 2 years ago on our wedding night, Bernard and I arrived
at our Bed and Breakfast and found a CD player with a bunch of CDs with love
songs. I said that I HAD to have a first slow dance as husband and wife. We
scanned the CDs and I decided that there was one song that wasn’t super cheesy,
stupid, or that I didn’t know. You know
that song The smile on your face lets me
know that you need me… lalala? You say it best, when you say nothing at all…
<3 This song was our wedding song.
When you say nothing at all by Ronan Keating.
Not the woman
version.
So the ladies come back from their break and play a few more
songs, including Tina Turner (aaahhh yeaaaahh) and other classics. Then the
main woman smiles RIGHT at me and says, “We have a special couple in the crowd
celebrating their wedding anniversary. We haven’t played this song in a while,
but hopefully we’ll do it right. This song is for you. Happy anniversary!” and
they started playing our song.
I kid you NOT, tears welled in my damn eyes and Bernard
stands up and grabs my hand, AND WE FRIGGING DANCE RIGHT THERE ON THE PATIO OF
THE RESTAURANT. Eat your heart out, Nicholas Sparks. Yeah… Bernard Ryan
Gosling-ed that shit.
A few people smiled, a few people clapped, a few people took
pictures on their phones. I just looked into the eyes of my favourite person
alive and hoped I wasn’t just dreaming – although if I was, it was the best
damn dream ever. My tummy was filled with deliciousness, my heart was filled
with happiness, and my arms were filled with Bernard. For those of you who are
like “Shut up with your marital bliss and shit”, all I gotta say is….
Sorry not sorry. I'm in love, bitch.
It was the perfect ending to the perfect day. But it wasn’t
over. We listened to a few more sets of music and then we retreated to our
room, had some tea and a midnight swim, and had the best sleep ever in a bed
that would bitchslap SleepCountry beds to Singapore.
…And they lived happily ever after – yeah, that seems fitting.
And that’s why Princess Sarah decided to marry Prince Bernard. Because even
though he’s annoying sometimes and embarrassing at times and a right goofball
at times and occasionally immature because, let’s face it, he’s male – He’s
disgustingly romantic, and every girl (even the non-romantic ones) would melt
into a puddle for that shit.
^ us as the most super romantic gorgeous couple ever.
v us as ourselves.
