About two weeks ago, I was browsing SmartShanghai (a website
that tells you the hip and happening things up and about in this vast and
bustling city) and I came across an article titled “Volunteering with Orphaned
Babies”. I clicked on the link and found a few pictures of precious babies
with, wait for it, cleft lip! Sign me up.
So, naturally, my mother hen clucked its way into emailing
the organization and signing up. Two weeks later and it’s Saturday, October 17th
and I’m up and ready to head two hours East to Xujian village to help clean up
play areas and aid in the stimulation of babies’ social and emotional growth.
Talk about Heaven.
So after an almost two hour subway ride, I meet a group of
smiling volunteers outside the station and we hop into cabs and drive even
further into the “nothingness” that is the outskirts of the city. We passed by
dilapidated buildings and rows of trees as we zigzagged down winding roads. I
took a hit of my anti-nausea spray I got in Thailand more than once – this taxi
driver was a beast.
Finally, we turn into an apartment complex and walk over
towards a villa with a sign out front that says “Shanghai Healing Home”. It was
a cute little building with toys out front. I could hear some crying babies and
I couldn’t wait to get inside and cuddle them!
Our first task was to wipe down the play areas and toys. We
scrubbed for what only seemed like minutes and then we got to play! Hoards of
little munchkins made their way into five different play rooms, each separated
into age groups. The most basic was a newborn nursery – I had to wait my turn
for this one!
I slowly and cautiously approached a room with several
little beebees in it staring up at me with nervous curiosity. I sat down on the
mat and pushed a toy towards one little guy. He attempted to grab it and bat
his hands at my legs.
You see, these babies had various physical and mental
issues. One of the main issues happened to be cleft lip and palate, which I was
excited about because I immediately felt connected to each and every baby
having looked similar when I was a newborn. Another issue was limited mobility
for various mental and physical reasons. I saw a couple babies battling fetal
alcohol syndrome, some with extra fingers and some with extra toes, and some
that looked “fine” but definitely weren’t.
Then the leader walked in with a darling little gem and
said, “Sarah, do you want to take her?” Before I said, “uhhhh, wait, how do you
hold a baby?!”, a little girl less than two years old was placed into my hands.
She was lighter than air and frail as could be. She had wispy, soft hair that
fell gently over her big, curious brown eyes. Her nose was a little button and
beneath it was a double-cleft lip. I looked at her and whispered “Nihao”. She
scrunched up her nose in an attempted smile and bared her crooked teeth at me.
She started making a ch ch ch sound, so I mimicked her, and that was it: she
didn’t want to leave my side.
As I was playing with Hua Yuan (literally translates into
Flower Garden, which is very fitting considering just how beautiful and
delicate this little baby was), another older baby waddled over to me. She had
to be about 3. She looked at me, or rather, scowled. She threw a small train at
me and so I picked it up and started running it up Hua Yuan’s leg, making a ch
ch ch noise, which made her giggle. Just then, the 3 year old sat down firmly,
rolled up her pant legs and said “Mama! Mama!” and pointed to her leg,
signaling that she wanted me to roll the train up her leg now. I did and she smiled a big, goofy grin and looked at
me happily. She rolled her pants up higher and I rolled the train from her leg,
up her arm, and onto her head. She thought this was hilarious and giggled
loudly. Then she screeched with excitement and ran away.
I turned my attention back to the frail and fragile Hua Yuan
who I forgot to mention had soft casts on both of her arms. I asked the leader
why she had these and never got an answer. The casts made it hard for her to
crawl so she needed a lot of extra help. I had no choice but to devote most of
my attention to her. The 3 year old was pretty pissed and I very quickly made
an observation that most of the “older” babies were neglected in this room.
They could fend for themselves and keep occupied whereas the babies needed constant
care and support. This hurt my heart a little.
I left Hua Yuan and the others for a bit to hit up the
newborn nursery. I walked in treading softly and looked around. All of these
babies looked severely deformed, for lack of a better word. They all had
something, and it was obvious. I noticed one little guy in rabbit pajamas
rolling around the room. I went over and laid down beside him and said “Nihao,
roly poly!” He smiled a very thin, crooked smile and stuck out his tongue,
which actually never went back inside his mouth. He snorted and breathed hard,
getting a little too excited at my presence. I decided to back off a bit and
just watch him roll around and smile, making sure he didn’t roll into any other
babies.
Another little dude was arching his neck in an awkward way
to look at me, so I went over and picked him up, trying to support his neck. I
realized that his joints were very stiff and he was hard to hold. I managed to
get him comfortable enough so that he grabbed at my chest and nuzzled in for an
“assume the nap position” position. He looked up at me and drowsily drifted off
to sleep.
Women of the world, back me up. Is there anything more “I
want a baby or several” than watching a gorgeous little baby fall into a
peaceful sleep against your chest while doing that cute little sucking thing
with their lips? Omg… My ovaries.
I awkwardly held this sleeping baby until an Ayi saw me,
chuckled, and took him to a sleeper. (She was probably thinking, bitch have you
ever held a living thing?!) After that, I met a little man with Down syndrome
who was obsessed with my eyes and constantly trying to grab my fingers. I
stared at him for a while and smiled as I watched his reaction – I don’t know
if it was fear or curiosity – to my bright teal nail polish (the kids were
obsessed with my nails!). Note to self: Wear bright nail polish when I go back.
The babies were sweet and cute and surprisingly quiet and
calm! I couldn’t believe it. I was expecting projectile vomit and ear piercing
screams; but in reality, they just wanted someone to rub their backs and help
them onto their stomachs.
I went back to the “older” baby room where a sassy little
girl with an unrepaired double-cleft lip was standing near the door about to
charge. I opened and closed it quickly and grabbed her up. “Nihao little one!”
She was strong! She shrieked and squirmed and I almost dropped her! I made my
way onto the mat with her and tried to sit her nicely on my lap. Nope. She
scrambled off my lap and started shrieking and crying. I wasn’t sure what to
do. I stroked her hair and clapped my hands. Nothing. Then, she climbed up me
and looked straight at my glasses. THWAP! Right off my face. Because she was so
close to me, I could see this made her smile, so I paused a moment to soak up
that beautiful unrepaired smile. Then, I retrieved my glasses, put them on, and
THWAP! At this point, I had to hand her off to another volunteer and go clean
my glasses.
When I came back, she was otherwise engaged, so I watched
her from afar. She had such a huge personality, it radiated throughout the
room. As I watched her snatch toys from the other babies, the 3 year old
waddled back over to me, planted herself in my lap, and thrust an animal toy at
me. “Mama!” she said. She was pointing at the animal buttons and so I made the
sounds that the animals made. She looked at me and did it again, “MAMA!” Dog?
“Ruff ruff” I barked. She barked back. Then I said “dog”, but she just said
ruff ruff. I eventually got her to say hello and bye-bye. ENGLISH TEACHER FOREVER
AND ALWAYS! J
I was busy mooing like a cow when I felt a very light nudge
on my back. I turned and there was Hua Yuan ch-ch-ch-ing away. I said hello and
she smiled. She held her arms out wide and came in for a hug. The 3 year old
had motored off at this point, so I hoisted Hua Yuan up and brought her to the
window where she looked up at the sky and out into the light of day. When we
turned around, the room was empty. An Ayi came in and said “che fan xian zai!”
(Eat now/lunch time). I surrendered Hua Yuan to an Ayi and went down with the
masses to observe the children’s dining time. Hua Yuan watched me as she was
plopped down into a booster seat and fed gingerly by a loving Ayi. I watched
her and made faces to keep her occupied. When I stopped, she started crying. I
could tell I should have just left her alone because now she wanted me to come
and get her. An Ayi told me I could grab her out of her seat, so I did and
walked her over to a wall of pictures.
On this wall were pictures of the babies from each room. I
found a picture of Hua Yuan pre-surgery with her unrepaired double cleft lip
smiling away. Her eyes were just so big and beautiful! I felt pretty emotional
at this point and was relieved that the day was almost over – my emotions, and
ovaries, couldn’t handle much longer.
The leader came by and said “Ready to go?” and Hua Yuan
tightened her grip on me. I eventually got her into a walker and distracted so
I could leave, but it was hard. It was hard to wave goodbye to all the sweet
babies who waved and smiled as we left the compound. They looked at us
longingly, wondering, I’m sure, if we’ll be back.
This experience made me feel so completely blessed and
humble. Thank goodness I was born in Canada to a loving family who didn’t mind
a little extra elbow grease to support a baby with a facial difference. Thank
goodness I was loved by so many people, and knew it (!) throughout my at times
very hard and painful childhood growing up with a cleft lip and palate.
Thank goodness for volunteers who give these adorable
orphans a chance to smile and play and infect us with their energy and
grandiose personalities.
Will I go back? Well, it was a two-hour commute each way,
but for those faces – especially little Hua Yuan – I’d make the trek.
Yours,
Sarah the loving Wun
