Paradise Found: Chapter Two

Paradise Found: Our magical vacation turned honeymoon in Sanya, Hainan Province, China

Chapter Two

“Seeing as it is your anniversary” the lady began to say – albeit in extremely broken English, but we understood her fine, “we have added some perks to your stay.” (Alright, I’ll be honest, I don’t remember her exact words as it was a long conversation of her sweetly trying to remember how to say all this in English, so instead of me Yoda-ing it, I’m just going to summarize her statements in my own words).

“It is too early to check in now if you want your upgraded room. We have given you the honeymoon suite in response to your request for something special on your wedding anniversary.” I can feel Bernard’s giddiness at this point. “You’ll have to wait a little while, but while you wait, please feel free to explore the hotel and its amenities.” At this point she hands us a MAP of the resort. It’s huge! We ask a couple of questions, including can we leave our bags at the front desk [of course we can], and proceed to take a tour. “Oh, also with the room upgrade comes admittance to the executive lounge for afternoon tea. This is daily from the hours of 3-5pm. Please enjoy your stay.” HELL YES! Executive suite?! MMMHHMMMMM. Bernard and I just looked at each other and smiled. Free stuff. That statement might as well be “Here’s $2000 and a puppy”.

We leave our bags and head out to explore. The first place we cruise by is an art and fan museum. GORGEOUS. Statues and fabrics everywhere. 

Then we head down a flight of gorgeous stone steps to the spa area. It’s the size of a city. You can’t even put in words what we say. Crossing a wooden bridge over a river, there were two large square planks over the river with massage tables, sinks, and large showers, all under straw huts. It was literally like watching a Sandals resort commercial. Or rather a Sandals resort VIP you can’t afford this place commercial. Magic. The air was filled with smells of lemongrass and mint and you could hear yourself breathe – that’s how quiet it was. Bliss! We instantly considered a couple’s massage just for the hell of it. 

The wobbly bridge. Those ropes were necessary!

Did I mention the hammock?!

Next we winded down a path and admired all the gorgeous greenery. There were bushes carved into animals, 

flowers placed atop of garbage cans and ash trays to make them look magical. Everywhere we turned was another Amazonian path to walk down leading to a building with rooms or a pool or the beach. 

We made our way out to an area by a river. This river was connected to the main pool. It winded all around the resort and branched off into separate pools (kids pool, water slide area, Jacuzzi, etc.). And then we crossed a wobbly bridge to the main pool. Oh. My. God.

The main pool was literally a postcard waiting to happen. The water was the temperature of a warm bath. There were straw huts scattered to block fragile skin from the sun and cover the Jacuzzi areas. There was a swim up bar equipped with any cocktail one needed. There was a volleyball net, basketball nets, large archways with misters to cool you off. There was a giant palm tree in the middle of the damn thing. I for one had my jaw dropped the entire walk.

We walked around the pool to the main building area. It was, wait for it, magical. Could you have guessed? Crossing another cute bridge, we noticed a giant mass of koi fish that following our footsteps in anticipation of food. Bernard clapped and they scattered in opposite directions.

We walked down more winding steps where we saw two restaurants: one that would supply the breakfast buffet in the mornings and another, Dragon Palace, for all our traditional Hainan cuisine needs.

A further walk past the gift shop, the cigar lounge, and the billiards room was a German restaurant with live music overlooking rivers and beyond that, the gorgeous sea. There was also the poolside bar restaurant, Shades and Waves, room service, the lobby which served up teas and snacks, and other little stops that could supply you with beverages whenever you desired. No need to set foot off this resort.

Oh wait…

So at this point, Bernard and I are melting. The sun is punching us in the back and I am in desperate need of sunblock, sandals, and maybe a hat. I was wearing my Toms and my skin was crisping. Damn it.

We walked to the lobby and asked if there was a store nearby where we could get sunblock. I don’t know if their English wasn’t good or if they were just confused that we wanted to leave paradise, but everyone we asked was like, uuuhhh no. We have a gift shop!

So we went to the gift shop. How expensive could it be? At this point, we were on vacation mode, so I was like YOLO…. I’m buying what I need and what I want!

Sunblock: 200Y ($33)

Hats: 300-500Y ($50-90)

Flip flops: Ready to be outraged?

Let me begin by saying that, in my opinion, flip flops are useless wedges of material that have the sole purpose (see what I did there?) of making your feet not touch the floor. They should be 10 cents, a dollar tops.

Flip flops: 500Y ($83!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Naturally, I walked out with nothing. I was pissed. I really wanted a pair of sandals and a hat, and my skin desperately NEEDED sunblock. Bernard said something about my “jewish ass” and we continued walking.

It was about that time to pick up our bags and head to our room. We went to the front lobby, grabbed our suitcase, and attempted to find building 3. Our building was pretty far from the lobby, but backing off of our room was the executive pool, which was delightfully close to the beach, which was delightfully close to the main pool, which was decently near almost everything else we could need (breakfast buffet in the morning). What our building was most close to was the executive lounge. J

We found building 3 and hopped up the elevator. Room 2212. Excellent. Not bottom floor, away from the noise, seemed very quiet and peaceful. Bernard opened the door and went in first. He was therefore the first to react to everything. His reactions were great. Imagine MY over the top ass? 

Double sinks, glass shower, gigantic bed, rose petals, a lounge couch, A BALCONY, and…

Bernard walks onto the balcony and GOES WHOAAAA! And I assume he’s talking about the view…

...in the next chapter, find out what Bernard was peeing his pants over

Paradise Found: Our magical vacation turned honeymoon in Sanya, Hainan Province, China

Because I could literally write a book about our vacation in Sanya, I will be blogging it in installments so you feel like you are reading a novel. Consider this Chapter One.

So a billion months ago Bernard asked me what I wanted to do for our second wedding anniversary. Last year we were in Abu Dhabi and we booked a luxurious hotel, roach free, and went to one of the most posh ass restaurants I have ever been to for a celebrity-like fine dining experience. It was perfection.

I told him a nice dinner was fine, but later on, I was doing a little flight research within China and found this cute little beachy place called Sanya. Luckily, we had the Monday off for Dragon boat festival, so I told Bernard that we should take another day off and fly to Sanya for the week.

I hunted online for weeks for the perfect hotel/flight combo. I narrowed it down to two hotels: one, a modern, classic place called the Cactus resort with some amenities; the second, a more rustic, Thailand-ish feel, a little more expensive, but gorgeous looking rooms with big beds, no bathtub. Bernard said hands down the second one, and thank the sweet Buddha that he did! A few months after booking, we were on our way to the Narada Resort and Spa Sanya! J

After a 12 hour work day (Sunday), Bernard and I packed up the essentials (toothbrushes, passports, camera, sundresses) and headed to the airport. OMG, the flight. So the flight was 2 hours and 40 minutes. We got a meal! If you know me at all, you know that I have a sickness – I prefer the term giddiness – when it comes to airplane food. FOOD IN THE AIR! JUST….WHAT?! I love it.

So because of my lactose intolerance, I received the “allergy friendly” meal. This is the third time I have put lactose in the notes when booking a flight, and can I tell you, it is WORTH.IT. Bernard is considering asking for the allergy friendly meal because my meal is ALWAYS AMAZING. It’s always vegetarian, usually bigger than the regular meal, and comes with more stuff because it’s vegetarian. So Bernard received a variety of Chinese buns and an angel food cake and a white roll. I received the same white roll with jam and a tofu and vegetable noodle stir-fry! Because it was our anniversary, I shared my stir-fry with Bernard… because I love him. I wouldn’t give this glorious meal to just anyone. Bernard said his buns were okay, but that stir-fry? Dude. Sarah’s travel tip: REQUEST THE SPECIAL MEAL. Unless you totally love meat and have to have it. But 3/3 times my special meal has been far superior to the usual generic chicken, beef, fish, or veggie lasagna.

We finally arrived in Sanya and stepped out of the airport into what can only be described as Abu Dhabi during a heat wave!!! It was a gorgeous place with trees and clean air, but holy baby Jesus was it hot! It was 39 not including the humidity. And the humidity was 90%. Needless to say, my testicles were sweating, and I don’t even have testicles…

So we’re standing around like a couple of tourists when this dude approaches Bernard and starts speaking in Chinese. Bernard says “taxi, how much?” and the guy wants a billion yuan for it! Bernard goes SHE ME?! [pronounced shuh muh, meaning ‘what’]. Then we decided to trek OUT of the airport to see if we could find a cheaper price. Bingo. We did. The only problem was the sun literally sewed itself to my face, shoulders, back, and legs the entire 8 second walk to the street. Brutal.

50 yuan (less than 10 bucks) and 10 minutes later we were driven past a gold sign that read Narada Resort and Spa. The taxi spiraled up the drive bookended by palm tree after palm tree and the odd fountain. We were in awe already. When the driver stopped, a lovely bellboy opened the door for me and I felt like a damn celebrity immediately. You know when you go to places where you feel like you should pay a dollar for just breathing the air around it because it’s THAT gorgeous and posh? Yup. Narada. 

Besides the heat, I was in heaven. We walked into the open concept lobby and saw elephant statues, wicker chairs and loungers, golden architecture, and beautiful stone floors. 

I must have looked like a complete idiot gawking at everything! I didn’t care. It was amazing. A lovely lady escorted us to the check in desk and brought us two glasses of COLD – thank Buddha – green tea. The green tea was like a Christmas gift, but little did I know what would happen next that would make this vacation go from a happy, relaxing vacation to literally a once in a lifetime enchanting ass holiday… 

 

Me brudder in the Main land

Newfies in China?!

So Asia is like the king of English typos, right? And yet, sometimes, I think the typos are genius and I totally dig them.

For example, there’s a fitness shop beside my work, and on display was a really awesome and badass shirt… at least it would have been if the English wasn’t off. It was meant to say “Thrill Seeker” but naturally, it’s China, so there’s a misspelling of thrill.

Or…

Are there Newfies in China? Maybe this is just imported from the East Coast of Canada. Should… should I buy it? Maybe I’m just homesick.

Haha, here’s a good laugh for all of yous who can understand the mudder tongue:

B’y George!

Bird walking and other China-isms

So Bernard and I were going to meet up with some friends to go rock-climbing and we had to venture out to China-China. You see, where we live is pretty “English” friendly and urban-chic. There are little pockets of what I like to call China-China where you forget you are in a big city like Shanghai.

So we subway an hour’s way up to Hongkou Football Stadium (which sounds pretty city-esque) and climb up the stairs to a very pretty area. Green grass, cute little stubby trees, seniors doing Tai Chi, and other China-isms – my favourite? The bird walking.

 

Bird-walking?! Yes. So we were walking through this tiny little green park area and we saw some cages on trees so we investigated. Straight up, some adorable old Chinese men were sitting on a bench and just chilling out with their birds. Still puzzled, I walked up to a tree and gazed. 

A man then walked up beside me with his bird in its cage, hung it on a tree, and sat down on the bench. Another man got up from the bench after a solid amount of time, came to a tree, said something in Chinese to his bird, lifted the cage off the tree, and walked away. Bird walking!! Much like people bring their dogs to dog parks and let them run around leash-less, in China, old men bring their birds outside for a little fresh air to chill at the bird park!!! I absolutely love it! Every day I am astounded at the sweet and darling things I see in China. It’s a different life over here, but in sooooo many ways it’s just the same. There are so many simple pleasures. I respect it.

<<Bernard being  like "wtf is this?" 

                                                                                                          ^ Men chilling on the benches                                                                                                  watching their birds.

Another simple pleasure that I do not respect is children doing their business on the ground and the ass-less pants. Yes, they exist. I don’t need to see child ass! I just don’t. Also, breast-feeding is cool, but getting in an argument with a woman who is breastfeeding on the subway and being squirted at with her breast milk… a little much. This didn’t happen to me! I didn’t even see it! My friend told me about it; but you know what? I believe it. Girrrrl, we in China. Where the level of WTF is off the charts. And sometimes (like in the case of the bird park) I just LOVE it.

P.S. I'm a terrible person! I should blog more. Sorry mama! I love you!!!

Yours,

Sarah "isn't it Wunderful?"

<< The bird park :)