Confessions of a below standards English teacher: How unsatisfactory caused excellence

Yesterday was my long 437892687543 hour Sunday with back to back classes all of which were two hours. The day before, I came off of work just before 10pm. I had to get up at 7:00am the next day to prepare for Sunday. I was pretty drained but hopeful. Weekends are busy, rushy, but full of potential and always filled with exceptional learning opportunities.

Today I had a teaching evaluation from one of the big dogs at my company. Correction: He pretty much started the company in China and I was feeling exceptionally intimidated and nervous. Why? I don't know. I know what I'm doing. I'm comfortable and confident with my teaching and my classes; but for some reason, I couldn't shake the nerves. My LP was feeling extra nervous because she could sense my anxiety and could see me flustered. I busied around the room and flew through my first class without a hitch. The second class began very well. I was prepared, planned, and owning. The students were mildly engaged and giving me adequate attention. I played a few games and got the kids moving a little bit before the break.

Then, the evaluator came in. The kids changed. They were quiet, unenthused, and just "over it" it seemed. I let them have their break and skimmed my lesson plan a billion times to see what I could do to beef it up. I only had what I had, so I improvised with my resources and tried to engage the learners in an interactive activity about furniture in a room (the target concepts). I asked questions about beds, sofas, lamps, etc. The room felt squashed as I had more learners than usual (due to make up students from other classes needing to catch up), so I didn't have the opportunity to move around as much. A few of the learners, as usual, watched me bright eyed, big smiles, and waited for my cues. Others looked at me like "bitch, please". My LP was also waiting for cues and seemed a little nervous and confused about my plan.

We made it work and all in all, the class was successful in that I hit the target language and involved all but two students (these two students were not even on the same planet as me -- moving their chairs out of the circle and not wanting to speak to me at all. With 15 children, I cannot cater to two kids who won't even throw me the smallest of bones, so I continued encouraging them and giving them the opportunity to try, but no). I went over time because kids kept wanting to run to the bathroom, which I was unsure of the protocol. The students are allowed two bathroom breaks in two hours, which I think is sufficient... but if a child needs the bathroom, who am I to say no? I didn't know what to do, so I let it happen. Because of this, I was left alone in the class without my LP for about 20 minutes, which has never happened before.

Long story short, there were a lot of variables making this class unpredictable and a little bumpy; however, I hit my targets and got most of the students to speak the sentences and all of them to at least name the furniture vocabulary.

Now came time for my evaluation. While the evaluator went to find my LP, I went and put the resources away. I found my friend S who asked me how it went. I said horribly and that I was worried I wouldn't pass. Then I kind of chuckled and said I was excited about feedback from such a well known man with 5 years of experience at the company (P.S. the company is 5 years old!!!) so I couldn't wait to sit down with him.

I went into the room with my LP and he spoke to us about our positives (being friendly, kind, entertaining, enthusiastic, and talkative). He told me I should have done a lot more student centred activities, but I felt that my students didn't understand the content and therefore couldn't speak it confidently, so I did a lot more teacher direction than I guess I should have... He gave me a lot of tips about how to construct my lesson plans so that I was certain I'd have at least group to group student interaction. I was really happy to hear that his strategies were things I have done in the past, and would do but I didn't think of at the time.

All in all, I enjoyed the evaluation. It was fairly positive and filled with feedback, which I appreciated. I was getting little feedback and tips apart from "You're doing a good job" so I enjoyed hearing "do this and here's how". That was cool.

Then he flipped the page and said "I'm going to make a copy for each of you and put it in your file and give you a copy. Please sign here" before moving his pencil toward the marking scheme. There were four or five categories. UNACCEPTABLE   (hilarious. Yea right...) BELOW STANDARDS   MEETS STANDARDS     ABOVE STANDARDS    and I think there was one that said QUEEN OF EVERYTHING

He took his pencil and circled BELOW STANDARDS. Instantly, my eyes began to water.

What? But... but... I'm a teacher.

Never have I received any kind of evaluation of my teaching that has been anything less than an above average. This was a big blow to the ego, for sure. I knew it wasn't my best class, but I knew that I kept my energy up, finished my lesson plan perfectly, hit target language, had every student speak and generally entertained... Below standards?

He shook my hand and left. I burst into tears. My LP looked insanely uncomfortable. She wasn't used to raw emotions and "losing face" so to speak. I didn't expect to cry at work. I didn't want to! I was so embarrassed but I couldn't help it. She said, "Oh no, what's wrong?" and I said "I don't know..." and she said "The class was great. You were great. What is wrong? Don't worry" in a panic and frantic way to get me to stop crying. I said, "I know. I'm fine. I just need to cry it out." and she said "Have a rest. Feel better" and left. I sat down at my computer and opened it. I realized I had one more class and I hadn't even started the lesson plan. I burst into tears again.

I hadn't cried over my job yet. Last year, I cried minutely. Like, curl into a ball and rock back and forth cry. This was a typical overwhelmed/stressed/weekends are insane/below standards?!?!?! cry. To me below standards meant that I did something so wrong it would hold me back. Am I fired? Am I on probation? Will he tell my boss? Will I be penalized? Am I not a good fit for this company? I just couldn't stop thinking all these stupid thoughts and crying. I shook it off eventually and just sat and sobbed while I wrote my lesson plan. I had shit to do! So I did it with a stained, red face.

Then I eventually heard a knock at the door. I assumed it was my LP so I just kept typing. Then I saw a chocolate bar and a freshly squeezed apple juice. "I think you need this." It was S. I burst out crying again. I wept and told her I wasn't used to not being the BEST teacher and I couldn't believe I didn't at least MEET expectations. She told me not to worry and to look at it as EVERYone can improve and if I was "perfect" already, I wouldn't have a need to consider improving my lessons, etc. She was right. We talked frankly about the company, teaching, life, and how awesome she was for giving me treats.

My LP came back and asked if I was feeling better. Then we sat down and talked about our performance and how we both knew that it was a rough class and it's only been a few weeks and we know we'll grow as a team. We then talked about how things went for her previously and how I planned on bettering the class. Then we just talked about life. It was great. The language barrier impeded us at times, but I loved feeling connected to her outside of talking about our students.

I ran into another colleague who told me, "We've all been there. Just know that you can't meet standards this early on and you already accept the feedback and plan on improving immediately, so that's a really positive way to look at it." I was feeling great.

My moment of anger, sadness, despair, and all kinds of extreme yet irrational emotions were being wiped away by the closeness I was feeling from my colleagues. I felt like this "below standards" review sparked multiple conversations and made me realized I was loved and supported at work.

I washed the red from my face and hiked out to hunt for food. Sidebar: I found this cute little Chinese kiosk where I got pork on a crispy bun, red bean congee, and seaweed salad for 13Y (that's like $2!!!). For those of you who aren't impressed, that's a solid meal that would easily cost $10 back home! Easily! I was SO happy. Y'all know how food raises my spirits.

The last class of the day went great. I was feeling uplifted and relaxed that the evaluation was over. The content was fun (do you want to [verb]? yes I want to [verb]) so I had fun with it. I brought in paintbrushes and Hawaiian leis for "paint" and "dance" and we danced around and painted. I used the feedback to create a new group activity, and by the end of class, a student who couldn't tell me what colour my shirt was (it's blue... easy as shit. A 2 year old could tell me... just saying) was asking me "Do you want to dance?" and dancing around. It was adorable. Does she understand what she's saying? Maybe not... but it's only week 2. Get ready week 6, 7, 8... ;)

So at the end of the day, when someone tells you that you are below standards, prove them so wrong that wrong becomes right. :)

Sincerely,
Sarah BITCHPLEASEYOUWISHYOUTAUGHTLIKEME Wun-of-the-best-teachers-of-all-time

P.S. If I find a thrift store, I am going to buy a trophy, bring it to work and tell my students that I won the teacher olympics. I will also do this at all of my teaching jobs from now on. Like a boss.

P.S.S. Hasn't this evaluator heard the majestic words via drawing of Paul Bryant:

"Today, Graduate. Tomorrow, Teacher. In the future, dictator of the Global Curriculum!"

DAMN STRAIGHT! :)

MTV Cribs: Our sweet oasis in Shanghai

We entered a big, spacious, modern living room, clad in Ikea-inspired furniture and art. Bernard turned to me giddily and just smiled. I just kept thinking it was too good to be true. The SECOND apartment we see cannot be in our price range and look this good! But it was.

Bernard and I have been living happily in our swank ass apartment on the 10^th floor of a busy street in Shanghai across from stores, soccer fields, and three metro lines for about two weeks. We’re happy and comfortable. This is definitely a place we can call home. Knowing that we got to choose our own apartment during our time in China, we decided to take advantage of that privilege and think about things very carefully upon renting:

1) We are going to be spending a LARGE amount of time in this apartment outside of work, considering we don’t plan on traveling that much due to our lack of time off, so we want to REALLY like where we live.

2) We are going to have looooooong days, and some will be really frustrating. And what’s more annoying than being pissed off and going home to a grubby cave that you wish was better?

3) We want to be happy, comfortable, warm, and feel like we LIVE here; not just that we’re here for a year and it’s almost over. No… unlike our previous overseas experience, we wanted this apartment to be OUR apartment.

We happily signed a lease and Bernard says almost weekly how much he loves our place. The location, the size, the bed (omg, the mattresses in China are rocks, but our bed is splendid and I’m SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT!), the kitchen and the fact that it exists, and just the cozy feeling of the place.

Now I will soon upload a video tour of our gorgeous palace, but I currently sound like a frog (pollution sickness… good times…) so until my video, I have provided you with a delightful visual tour of our beautiful apartment in China, complete with commentary. Enjoy:

An Exploration of our Oriental Oasis

Here's our lovely first floor bathroom. It's equipped with your basic toilet, sink, and mirror, but also groovy tiles which are psychedelic and I totally dig them. Also, when you close the bathroom door, it looks like it's just a giant black room so it's all magic! Love it.

See? Pretty cool, eh? I love the Asian inspired art on the wall too. I wish I could take credit for decorating the place, but it came this way! Works for me!! :) 

Here's the shower. It's your standard shower. Thank GOODNESS it's got a heat lamp because it's very cold in our main bathroom! We personalized it with a sweet orange scrubbie and some Jackie Chan shampoo. HAH! Kidding... that shit's expensive yo! 

This thing makes me SO happy. It's a coat rack that looks like a piano! RIGHT?!?!?! I'm in love with it and I really want to take it with us when/if we leave!

Yes, we DO have two floors! Here are the stairs up to our bedroom/kitchen area. Note the sweet poster of the New York subway. Modern chic!

Here's the hallway into our bedroom/kitchen area. To the right is the second floor bathroom.

Here's the second floor bathroom. Cute, eh? Note the tacky, green seat warmer. Now, if you were here in China during the winter months, your ass would approve of that seat warmer, let me tell you! It gets pretty cold and nothing's worse than a cold ass! 

Second floor bathroom sink. It's up a level, which is weird. And it's super short up there. Bernard has already hit his head twice! Poor guy. I like it though. It's unique.

Our bedroom! Behind the sliding doors are the storage area and the kitchen. I love the details on the walls! :) How funky!

The kitchen. Personalized with fridge magnets! :) We've got some sweet gas burners and a handy condiment shelf above the stove. No oven, but I think ovens are just hard to come by in China... unless you have the $$$$. Our fridge is HUGE though, compared to other fridges we've seen that are essentially bar fridges. People do a lot of eating out in China.

The storage space. Honestly, there are so many places to put things, it's lovely. We're organized anyway, but this helps!

Here's a view from our upstairs balcony: Shanghai Stadium.

A downward view of the street below.

It wasn't very polluted when Bernard took this picture so you can actually SEE what we see! It's been so polluted here that we didn't know buildings behind the stadium existed! Brutal, eh?

Take a look at that sunshine. :) Gotta love it! 

A delightful photo of our kitchen plants and sink. It's big and bright and more than we could have asked for in a kitchen. Very happy!

The condiment shelf. The cupboards are pretty small and/or have piping in them, so this little space about the stove is great! It also looks super cool. 

Our living room! The dresser thing beside the TV is a shoe rack! I dig it. It's pretty cold down here though so I cannot wait until it warms up a bit. I guarantee we'll spend lots of time here. There's even a desk space beside the window for office-esque duties. 

A sweet ass picture of our living room. Check out that sweet light thing!! :) It's big and beautiful. And HEY! Notice that couch? It's a futon. Pssst! Come on over. We have space for you. :) (Bring warm clothes!!!) Hah. 

Finally, a picture tour wouldn't be complete without a night shot of a soccer game (wouldn't it be nice if it was hockey?!?!?!?) going on at Shanghai Stadium! We don't need ESPN... we can just watch from our balcony! :) Now, I don't like soccer... correction, it's a terrible *sport* and I kind of hate it greatly, but I like this apartment so much that I actually enjoy seeing the guys playing on the field during the day and night. It reminds me of how lively Shanghai is. Now if only the subway didn't close before 11pm!! Oh well. You can't have everything.

I hope you enjoyed our picture slideshow of our Shanghai apartment. Stay tuned for more blogs when Bernard and I start to feel better. We're (I'm) still being affected by the pollution and displaying cold-like symptoms which makes us (me) want to do nothing ever. At least I went for two walks today! :) THAT'S a lot when you can barely breathe. Aya! Shanghai! :) GOOD TIMES.

Until next time,

Your favourite Wuns 

ShangHAI: How China changed my life in 80 seconds

At the airport. My intestines begin to knot in a “you ate a stick of butter, didn’t you?” kind of way. Damn it. Bernard gets me some hot water to press against my piercing side. It subsides about 3%. Boarding time is approaching. I pop my first gravol. We get on the plane. It seems roomier and more comfortable than the one home from Abu Dhabi. I’m pleased. We set up camp in a two-person row right in front of the washroom. Here we go!

The flight was fine. I woke up every 5 minutes it seemed, and because it wasn’t a night flight, I knew the jetlag was going to be a royal bitch.

Day four in Shanghai: yep. Jetlag is still making things difficult, but we’re getting by surprisingly well. Anyway, when we land there are about 6 people clad in Disney attire waiting for us. We feel excited, valued, and giddy. They are smiling and really glad to see us. We get driven to the hotel where our first language barrier happens. OH YEAH! I had almost forgotten that China wasn’t an English speaking country! This is what Bernard and I were here for. We spent a great deal of time in the airport being amused by all the typos on the advertisements.

After a couple crazy gestures and a million head scratches, the hotel staff finally gave us a room key to a tiny two single beds room. Of course. We walked into the room and saw a stuffed toy of Winnie the Pooh in a Disney package and two welcome bags! Over the next few days, we would be getting loads of papers and things to organize ourselves before the real work began.

After parking our things and reading through our welcome pack (which included a Mandarin phrasebook thank goodness!), we found some people who offered to stroll around with us. We chatted away with our new friends, had a bite to eat, and were ready to pass out around 8pm. The first night was death. I barely slept and had that piercing pain in my side return. At breakfast the next morning, I could barely stand let alone pound back a dumpling and other various Chinese breakfast items (not Cheerios or bacon and eggs, let me tell you…). Anyway, we met up with a friend we had dinner with the night previously, and in a matter of minutes, we were laughing and chatting with a whole group of people.

I’ve got to say: my favourite thing so far about China is the people we’ve met who work at our company and the people we’ve met who have introduced us to other expats living here. Everyone is SO friendly and willing to help (the locals certainly aren’t… seriously. A dude at the airport was pressing rapidly on the door close button when we tried to get into the elevator. Luckily, we pressed harder on the door open button. Bitch). We’re also all in the same boat. Jetlagged, foreigners, knowing little Mandarin, super giddy about working for Disney. I love it!

Our first day after the flight was spent doing orientation and meeting fellow members of Disney. Like I said, everyone is excellent. I felt really at home right away and Bernard and I both chatted up many people and made friends. We visited a centre and it was exactly what I expected: colourful, bright, child-friendly, interactive, filled with stuffed toys and books; and that was just the lobby! We’ll be visiting more centres tomorrow (Monday), but what I have seen so far, I like. We sat through a bunch of important housekeeping sessions, such as cultural assimilation, housing, and medical.

Amazing addition #1: included in our medical is a free phone number for counseling specifically related to overseas teaching! We can call this number any time with any concern and get English service. Now THIS is something I wish I had in Abu Dhabi! Thank goodness I had wicked friends and a solid husband who didn’t mind my bitching.

We went back to the hotel for a free group lunch and I was very thankful to be hungry, unlike breakfast that morning or dinner the previous evening! I gobbled up some pork fried rice. For those of you who are picturing your classic fried rice from Golden Lake or Dragon King or some other North American Chinese food joint, picture differently my friends! This was some authentic ass Chinese pork fried rice! It was incredible. The flavours! The texture! It was very different but I really liked it. So far, I’m not the biggest fan of Shanghai food… but it’s only been a few days and in my defense, I’ve been very sick and thus nauseous and anything but hungry!

I gobbled up my fried rice and Bernard savoured his beautiful beef and potato pot with a side of traditional rice. His plate was epic! You’re probably like, bitch where’s a picture?!

Neither of us have taken a single picture yet and there are a few really excellent reasons why:

1) Theft is huge in China and Bernard’s camera is gorgeous and expensive and we’re a little nervous about that so we’re keeping cautious until we settle in.

2) We haven’t been to any touristy destinations yet and we LIVE in Shanghai, so we’re bound to see what we’ve seen again.

3) We’re both still dreadfully jetlagged and ultra-busy so pictures are not on our mind right now.

So this is how China changed my life instantaneously:

I now cross roads with extreme caution and count my lucky stars any time I don’t die because pedestrians do NOT have the right of way and scooters are assholes.

I eat so differently and my IBS has taken a vacation or stayed in Canada (GOOD RIDDANCE) because most of our meals consist of Chinese buns, ultra greasy anything, or MSG exploding Asianness. Also, I’ve gained 70 lbs. Gotta love being in a big city where you take 8 steps and there’s another Chinese bread store! J

I understand a little Mandarin and can sort of speak a couple of necessary phrases and it’s only been a week… necessary. We’re not in Canada anymore... Bring it on! 

Wunce upon a Time in Shanghai

 Sarah’s first day off without Bernard Part 1:

I hope this isn’t Viagra…

So I dropped off Bernard at work this afternoon because we unfortunately do not have the same days off, much to my adamant request. Assholes.

Anyway, I decided to venture out into Shanghai and do some errands on my own and embrace my independence and knowledge of Mandarin (lol… that would be none…).  

IMAGE :

An intersection near our apartment. Notice the scooters riding into oncoming traffic. WELCOME TO CHINA!

So Bernard and I both have really bad coughs at the moment. For those of you who haven’t heard, Shanghai’s AQI these days is hitting the 500+ digits and therefore, we’ve both been breathing in satanic amounts of pollution, no jokes. So I sound like the Exorcist on a rampage and he sounds not that much better. Last night, I spent the night coughing every 2 seconds… it was pleasant.

So I hunted for a pharmacy. Unlike Canada, you cannot get medicine anywhere. All the stores are generally divided, so you have to go to a pharmacy for cough drops, for example. I walked into this green place with a plus sign (plus sign is pharmacy, right?). I walked around until I found what looked like a doctor’s office and a bunch of what I knew was medicine behind a counter. I asked the woman, “Do you have medicine for?” in Mandarin and then coughed. She told me to go upstairs. I UNDERSTOOD! Feeling confident.

Upstairs was a busier, bigger looking pharmacy type place. Four older Asian ladies were standing behind the counter talking. I walked up. Ni hao! I asked, “Do you have medicine for?” and then coughed. She said something and rushed over to a counter and brought back three packages. She pointed to one, said something, and then made a sucking noise. I figured they were cough drops. I had bought Halls the week before, so I didn’t want to pay for more of that type of thing, so I said “Wo yo” (which is obviously spelt wrong, but you get it), which means “I have” and then she pointed to the other packages and made a cough sound so I said “ah ah ah” and nodded. (That’s kind of what people do when, I guess, they mean “okay” or “yea, that’s cool” or “I feel you bro”… I don’t know). Anyway, she tried to give me two, but I insisted just one and asked, “How much?” in Mandarin, forgetting that I don’t know numbers. She told me and wrote it down IN MANDARIN and gave me like a prescription and told me to take it to another counter. Shit. Well, I guess I’ll have to buy it now…

IMAGE:Me being confused about what I just bought.

I went to the next counter and the woman took my script and told me in Mandarin the price. I looked at her, said sorry, I don’t know in Mandarin, and she took out a calculator and typed in 30. THANK GOODNESS! I said YAY and she laughed. I gave her 30 RMB and she gave me a pink slip and told me to go back to the old Asian lady. I did and she gave me the medicine. SUCCESS! Now let’s hope this is actually cough medicine and not Viagra! I thanked the ladies profusely and apologized for my Mandarin crapness. They told me not to worry and waved me goodbye. I was SO proud of myself, you have no idea!!! 3 weeks in Shanghai and I hadn’t been ANYWHERE without Bernard who actually knows how to pretend he knows Mandarin. His appearance also helps…

I continued on to the department store to pick up cleaning products (we’ve been in our apartment for a week and we’re convinced the last tenant never cleaned. It’s a gorgeous, bright, clean apartment; but in China, apparently if you don’t dust hourly, it’s like you live in a dinosaur fossil). So I went to the department store where I had even more entertaining encounters, but that’s another blog that I’ll write shortly.

Back to the cough medicine (I hope!).

I got home and opened the package of meds. It had a creepy, vacuum-sealed silver package that had a funny texture to it. I feared. I pulled out the instructions and stared at the Mandarin like a jackass because naturally I have no prayer knowing what it says. Then, the best thing in the world happened: I turned over the paper AND THERE WAS AN ENGLISH SIDE TO THE DIRECTIONS (image)! Thank Christ!!!!

So classic China: I kid you not, this medicine says

[Composition]: Guangdong earthworm (excuse me?!), dried human placenta (ZHE SHE SHEN ME, bitch?! “what is this?!”), and streptococcus and other weird science things THAT AREN’T WORM AND PLACENTA!

[Description]: Brown.

Thank you description. You are SO helpful.

Anyway, I’m really glad the medicine instructions were in English because it was vital to know these pills need to be taken after meals and one should take them 3 times a day. Good to know!

So I’m going to eat a red bean bun and down one of these bad boys. If I survive, I will write a blog about my hilarious adventures trying to buy Swiffer cloths! My Christ it was an ordeal. I figured that people would leave me alone because I’m some oblivious white chick who can’t speak Mandarin. NOPE! Quite the opposite. They won’t leave me alone! BU YAO!

So I bought medicine and luckily it’s for what I have, sort of: “used to cure relieve panting and simple chronic bronchitis”. Close enough. Sigh. Oh China. I need to learn Mandarin! CORRECTION: I need to learn how to UNDERSTAND Mandarin!!! That’s my problem. I say something confidently and they respond and I just go .____.

HAH! J Adventure time is ALL the time in Shanghai.

With love,

Sarah is-about-to-eat-earthworms-and-placenta Wun