ShangHAI: How China changed my life in 80 seconds

At the airport. My intestines begin to knot in a “you ate a stick of butter, didn’t you?” kind of way. Damn it. Bernard gets me some hot water to press against my piercing side. It subsides about 3%. Boarding time is approaching. I pop my first gravol. We get on the plane. It seems roomier and more comfortable than the one home from Abu Dhabi. I’m pleased. We set up camp in a two-person row right in front of the washroom. Here we go!

The flight was fine. I woke up every 5 minutes it seemed, and because it wasn’t a night flight, I knew the jetlag was going to be a royal bitch.

Day four in Shanghai: yep. Jetlag is still making things difficult, but we’re getting by surprisingly well. Anyway, when we land there are about 6 people clad in Disney attire waiting for us. We feel excited, valued, and giddy. They are smiling and really glad to see us. We get driven to the hotel where our first language barrier happens. OH YEAH! I had almost forgotten that China wasn’t an English speaking country! This is what Bernard and I were here for. We spent a great deal of time in the airport being amused by all the typos on the advertisements.

After a couple crazy gestures and a million head scratches, the hotel staff finally gave us a room key to a tiny two single beds room. Of course. We walked into the room and saw a stuffed toy of Winnie the Pooh in a Disney package and two welcome bags! Over the next few days, we would be getting loads of papers and things to organize ourselves before the real work began.

After parking our things and reading through our welcome pack (which included a Mandarin phrasebook thank goodness!), we found some people who offered to stroll around with us. We chatted away with our new friends, had a bite to eat, and were ready to pass out around 8pm. The first night was death. I barely slept and had that piercing pain in my side return. At breakfast the next morning, I could barely stand let alone pound back a dumpling and other various Chinese breakfast items (not Cheerios or bacon and eggs, let me tell you…). Anyway, we met up with a friend we had dinner with the night previously, and in a matter of minutes, we were laughing and chatting with a whole group of people.

I’ve got to say: my favourite thing so far about China is the people we’ve met who work at our company and the people we’ve met who have introduced us to other expats living here. Everyone is SO friendly and willing to help (the locals certainly aren’t… seriously. A dude at the airport was pressing rapidly on the door close button when we tried to get into the elevator. Luckily, we pressed harder on the door open button. Bitch). We’re also all in the same boat. Jetlagged, foreigners, knowing little Mandarin, super giddy about working for Disney. I love it!

Our first day after the flight was spent doing orientation and meeting fellow members of Disney. Like I said, everyone is excellent. I felt really at home right away and Bernard and I both chatted up many people and made friends. We visited a centre and it was exactly what I expected: colourful, bright, child-friendly, interactive, filled with stuffed toys and books; and that was just the lobby! We’ll be visiting more centres tomorrow (Monday), but what I have seen so far, I like. We sat through a bunch of important housekeeping sessions, such as cultural assimilation, housing, and medical.

Amazing addition #1: included in our medical is a free phone number for counseling specifically related to overseas teaching! We can call this number any time with any concern and get English service. Now THIS is something I wish I had in Abu Dhabi! Thank goodness I had wicked friends and a solid husband who didn’t mind my bitching.

We went back to the hotel for a free group lunch and I was very thankful to be hungry, unlike breakfast that morning or dinner the previous evening! I gobbled up some pork fried rice. For those of you who are picturing your classic fried rice from Golden Lake or Dragon King or some other North American Chinese food joint, picture differently my friends! This was some authentic ass Chinese pork fried rice! It was incredible. The flavours! The texture! It was very different but I really liked it. So far, I’m not the biggest fan of Shanghai food… but it’s only been a few days and in my defense, I’ve been very sick and thus nauseous and anything but hungry!

I gobbled up my fried rice and Bernard savoured his beautiful beef and potato pot with a side of traditional rice. His plate was epic! You’re probably like, bitch where’s a picture?!

Neither of us have taken a single picture yet and there are a few really excellent reasons why:

1) Theft is huge in China and Bernard’s camera is gorgeous and expensive and we’re a little nervous about that so we’re keeping cautious until we settle in.

2) We haven’t been to any touristy destinations yet and we LIVE in Shanghai, so we’re bound to see what we’ve seen again.

3) We’re both still dreadfully jetlagged and ultra-busy so pictures are not on our mind right now.

So this is how China changed my life instantaneously:

I now cross roads with extreme caution and count my lucky stars any time I don’t die because pedestrians do NOT have the right of way and scooters are assholes.

I eat so differently and my IBS has taken a vacation or stayed in Canada (GOOD RIDDANCE) because most of our meals consist of Chinese buns, ultra greasy anything, or MSG exploding Asianness. Also, I’ve gained 70 lbs. Gotta love being in a big city where you take 8 steps and there’s another Chinese bread store! J

I understand a little Mandarin and can sort of speak a couple of necessary phrases and it’s only been a week… necessary. We’re not in Canada anymore... Bring it on!