Dear Bullies…

I’ve had it. I’ve had it with bullying. When I was a kid, I hated it and now I hate it so much more! I hate that bullying has multiplied in its ways like a gross ass cockroach – we’ve got cyber-bullying which thank the sweet Lord wasn’t a big thing when I was young (I straight up wouldn’t have survived that shit!)

So me and a few other teachers are starting an initiative to stop bullying at our school. As the FLASH teacher, I’ve taken it upon myself to lead the Grade 6 and 7 classes and do an anti-bullying campaign via their FLASH class this semester as a way to highlight feelings and emotions and addressing them with positive thinking and actions.

Since the beginning of the semester, I’ve been busy as a beaver with meetings and lesson planning for this anti-bullying workshop. We’re going to have a “Week of Change” and it all sounds very exciting. I feel very motivated and inspired whenever I think about how it is possible to make a difference!

Then today happened.

During an email back and forth with my co-teacher for FLASH, I received a heartbreaking message from homeroom teachers and parents of “victims” begging for my help. They said that there have been serious cases in Grade 6 and were wondering if I could address them in FLASH.

In one class, a girl is been harassed over text message by students asking if she’s slept with another classmate. Did I read that right?! SLEPT with another classmate? 11 years old… Sweet baby Jesus, when I was 11, I thought boys had cooties and watched Teletubbies! Christ, when I was in 12^th grade sex was still some foreign concept reserved for romantic movies that were probably too adult for me anyway. Good lord how I matured slowly!! So in grade 6, they are talking about sleeping together. And bitches say that FLASH is unnecessary.??!?!??!?!!!!?!?! Move over fractions, integers and climate change because these damn kids need a metaphorical puberty bitch slap!

Anyway, I was shocked and literally gasped out loud when I read that, but it wasn’t until the next “scenario” that I felt tears well in my eyes.

A new student came to our school this semester joining one of the grade 6 classes and unfortunately was not welcomed with open arms. Apparently, one of the class bullies (notorious for fights and other headaches for teachers) passed around a petition saying, “I hate _______” for his fellow classmates to sign. Get this: every single student signed it!!! Every single student agreed to sign a paper saying that they HATED the new student! I was absolutely heartbroken when I read that! Not only is this poor student new and has to try her best to fit in despite coming in halfway through the year, but the entire class has decided that because some righteous douche says so, they all hate her. HATE her. That word burns fierce.

Can you imagine waking up every morning and knowing that you have to enter a classroom filled with people who hate you? You don’t even have one ally that you could confide in. And then you have to spend the entire day moving from one class to another with a swarm of other kids who signed off on hating you. And then you have to focus on your academics and pleasing your teachers all while wading through murky hate sludge?! Honestly.

You know what I think of that? I think that is not fair. No one in the world should ever have to feel that way. NO one, let alone a kid, should have to live in fear of their peers.

So for this poor little girl who is probably absolutely wonderful and unique and has a million positive qualities to offer this world, I offer this:

Dear bullies,

In middle school, I was called ugly relentlessly. Every day, S would seek me out and point out all my facial features that displeased her. Every day I’d be reminded of my physical flaws and hateful word-knives would pierce my ugly face.

For those that know me, they probably know this situation. S was probably the biggest bully I ever faced. She was eager to make me cry and hate myself. Unfortunately, she succeeded. At the time, I was definitely defeated by this bitch.

In grade 8, some people started avoiding me in band class and I was puzzled. Apparently, there was a rumor going around that I was a lesbian so people didn’t want to go near me. Later I would painfully realize that this was where learned negativity towards the term “lesbian” began. This rumor followed me into high school where one of my “friends” wouldn’t hug me because I was a lesbian. I remember wanting to hug her because she got a good mark on a test that she had been worried about and she ran away and said, “Ew! Don’t touch me you lesbian!” (Hilarious sidebar: Idiot didn’t know shit because I was actually dating a boy at the time… that’s not how lesbianism works you silly goose!)

Regardless of my sexuality, this was stupid behavior and fostered ugly opinions and stereotypes about sexual orientation. I’ve always been very comfortable and content with the belief that you are born with your sexual orientation and no one can choose it. I also have always harbored a strong belief that everyone is worthy of love and it’s okay to be gay, as they say! But as a young pubescent girl, this was not something I wanted hung over me. I was awkward as it was and I remember once having people make fun of me for being “such a lesbian” because I told a girl she smelled nice. Forgive me for the compliment! Assholes… Heaven forbid I enjoy a nice vanilla body spray, Jesus. If a guy was wearing some, I’d compliment him, and then I’m sure I’d get a slew of gossip told about that. Kids can be so mean. I also struggled for a while wondering if I was, in fact, a lesbian and if this was okay. All kinds of messed up negativity and confusion built up and this stupid rumor was just another hate knife that tried its best to stab at me.

In high school – Oh God, I remember it like it was yesterday – one girl would throw trash at me because I was “garbage”. I remember being very confused and thinking who in their right mind would ever do this to someone? Yes, I was sad and yes I was defeated, but I was honestly more shocked and confused than anything. When I didn’t react in the way she wanted, she made life quite difficult just being an intimidating asshole towards me. It was quite sad because I actually liked her. I thought she was a pretty decent person – funny, pretty, personable – except for her blatant flaw: She was clearly an idiot because trash goes in a garbage can and I am obviously not a garbage can, you dumb. I am a human being, however ugly, gangly, poor, or any other negative word you can stab me with, but even I – 16 year old self-conscious me – know that I’m not garbage.

Believe it or not, being a garbage can wasn’t as hurtful as being ugly in grade 8. I don’t know if I was more mature or just getting used to the bullying, but J (the girl who threw trash at me) didn’t get to me like S did. I think it’s because I believed S. I did think I was really ugly…

But now? Girl, I’m flawed and imperfect and damn beautiful. I’m unique looking and when I look in the mirror, I’m pretty content with what I see – but it took a hell of a long time to get there because words hurt and stick around like unwanted waste.

That S situation stuck with me hard, and it definitely did some damage. I went to therapy for while, which changed my life! Go ahead bullies and make fun of me for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah… I’m weak and your words hurt me so bad that I had to see a doctor to reaffirm that I was okay. Actually, going to therapy was a blessing in disguise because it brought up some other issues that I worked through and now I’m mentally healthy as shit, at least more than I was.

So anyway, those are my biggest bullying moments among many. I’m not alone and I’m not unique. Many people are bullied thanks to you, bullies. It’s terrible but it happens.

What I’d like from you, bullies, is for you to stop bullying the weak. Stop bullying the innocent kids who sit next to you in class trying to do their work and make it through the day without feeling stupid, ugly, hopeless, HATED. Just stop.

Can’t stop because you’re an asshole? Okay fine, if you really must bully someone, bully me. I told you I got bullied for being ugly garbage, so here I am. Have at it!

There's me. Raw and real. No make-up, no smile, no nothing. Just natural, nothing pretty or special. Go nuts, you bullies. I'll take it if it means others won't. Here, I'll help you out: weirdish eyebrows, big nose, red face, wrinkles, deformed lip, uneven hair... 

Make sure to point out all my flaws and tell your friends even. Do whatever you have to do to keep your dumb actions and words away from kids who are having a hard enough time as it is growing up with your rude ass screwing up their ability to calm down and relax enough to write a math test, eat lunch, SMILE. You’re a bully and you’re proud of it? There’s nothing to be proud of. You negatively impact many people for years and years and are the cause of a giant headache to teachers everywhere who are trying SO hard to make this piece of shit issue go away. You are the reason for headaches. Does this please you? Why don’t you look inside yourself and figure out how to be a more positive person. It is possible. Try asking kids who are bullied and still come to school with their heads held high. Obviously they see positivity somewhere – they could teach your ass a thing or too about how to get through life. They are a hell of a lot stronger than you, bullies. You’re all weak ass bitches who don’t know how to be civil human beings, and you feed off of the ugly hate you spread.

So go ahead and laugh at my picture. Laugh at my words, just fucking point and laugh and get your kicks out of making MY life miserable, because you can’t. I’m immune to your shit so use me as your verbal punching bag and leave the others alone who don’t deserve it and can’t take it.

Basically what I’m saying, bullies, is fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Also, suck it.

From me and all the frustrated people who think bullying is for losers and wish it would stop – and it will someday, so get ready for that you assholes – peace out.

Dear bullies, I dislike your actions immensely but I don’t HATE you, because hate is reserved for something I care more passionately about in a negative way, like raisins. I’m not wasting my heavy emotions on you, you dick. No… I simply dislike you and feel very dissatisfied with your motives. Now go on and hate on me. Get your hate out and then go to school tomorrow, too tapped out to hate on anyone else, and show the world that you can be a decent human being.

So after all this anger I’ve expunged on you, bullies, I’m going to go and do my anti-bullying workshops and change the world. Because we – the positive people who believe in kindness and love – are stronger than you, and we will rise above your words and actions and hurt. We will! So watch out, because we don’t intend on being stopped.

You’re welcome.

Sarah the strong Wun