Dear Bullies…

I’ve had it. I’ve had it with bullying. When I was a kid, I hated it and now I hate it so much more! I hate that bullying has multiplied in its ways like a gross ass cockroach – we’ve got cyber-bullying which thank the sweet Lord wasn’t a big thing when I was young (I straight up wouldn’t have survived that shit!)

So me and a few other teachers are starting an initiative to stop bullying at our school. As the FLASH teacher, I’ve taken it upon myself to lead the Grade 6 and 7 classes and do an anti-bullying campaign via their FLASH class this semester as a way to highlight feelings and emotions and addressing them with positive thinking and actions.

Since the beginning of the semester, I’ve been busy as a beaver with meetings and lesson planning for this anti-bullying workshop. We’re going to have a “Week of Change” and it all sounds very exciting. I feel very motivated and inspired whenever I think about how it is possible to make a difference!

Then today happened.

During an email back and forth with my co-teacher for FLASH, I received a heartbreaking message from homeroom teachers and parents of “victims” begging for my help. They said that there have been serious cases in Grade 6 and were wondering if I could address them in FLASH.

In one class, a girl is been harassed over text message by students asking if she’s slept with another classmate. Did I read that right?! SLEPT with another classmate? 11 years old… Sweet baby Jesus, when I was 11, I thought boys had cooties and watched Teletubbies! Christ, when I was in 12^th grade sex was still some foreign concept reserved for romantic movies that were probably too adult for me anyway. Good lord how I matured slowly!! So in grade 6, they are talking about sleeping together. And bitches say that FLASH is unnecessary.??!?!??!?!!!!?!?! Move over fractions, integers and climate change because these damn kids need a metaphorical puberty bitch slap!

Anyway, I was shocked and literally gasped out loud when I read that, but it wasn’t until the next “scenario” that I felt tears well in my eyes.

A new student came to our school this semester joining one of the grade 6 classes and unfortunately was not welcomed with open arms. Apparently, one of the class bullies (notorious for fights and other headaches for teachers) passed around a petition saying, “I hate _______” for his fellow classmates to sign. Get this: every single student signed it!!! Every single student agreed to sign a paper saying that they HATED the new student! I was absolutely heartbroken when I read that! Not only is this poor student new and has to try her best to fit in despite coming in halfway through the year, but the entire class has decided that because some righteous douche says so, they all hate her. HATE her. That word burns fierce.

Can you imagine waking up every morning and knowing that you have to enter a classroom filled with people who hate you? You don’t even have one ally that you could confide in. And then you have to spend the entire day moving from one class to another with a swarm of other kids who signed off on hating you. And then you have to focus on your academics and pleasing your teachers all while wading through murky hate sludge?! Honestly.

You know what I think of that? I think that is not fair. No one in the world should ever have to feel that way. NO one, let alone a kid, should have to live in fear of their peers.

So for this poor little girl who is probably absolutely wonderful and unique and has a million positive qualities to offer this world, I offer this:

Dear bullies,

In middle school, I was called ugly relentlessly. Every day, S would seek me out and point out all my facial features that displeased her. Every day I’d be reminded of my physical flaws and hateful word-knives would pierce my ugly face.

For those that know me, they probably know this situation. S was probably the biggest bully I ever faced. She was eager to make me cry and hate myself. Unfortunately, she succeeded. At the time, I was definitely defeated by this bitch.

In grade 8, some people started avoiding me in band class and I was puzzled. Apparently, there was a rumor going around that I was a lesbian so people didn’t want to go near me. Later I would painfully realize that this was where learned negativity towards the term “lesbian” began. This rumor followed me into high school where one of my “friends” wouldn’t hug me because I was a lesbian. I remember wanting to hug her because she got a good mark on a test that she had been worried about and she ran away and said, “Ew! Don’t touch me you lesbian!” (Hilarious sidebar: Idiot didn’t know shit because I was actually dating a boy at the time… that’s not how lesbianism works you silly goose!)

Regardless of my sexuality, this was stupid behavior and fostered ugly opinions and stereotypes about sexual orientation. I’ve always been very comfortable and content with the belief that you are born with your sexual orientation and no one can choose it. I also have always harbored a strong belief that everyone is worthy of love and it’s okay to be gay, as they say! But as a young pubescent girl, this was not something I wanted hung over me. I was awkward as it was and I remember once having people make fun of me for being “such a lesbian” because I told a girl she smelled nice. Forgive me for the compliment! Assholes… Heaven forbid I enjoy a nice vanilla body spray, Jesus. If a guy was wearing some, I’d compliment him, and then I’m sure I’d get a slew of gossip told about that. Kids can be so mean. I also struggled for a while wondering if I was, in fact, a lesbian and if this was okay. All kinds of messed up negativity and confusion built up and this stupid rumor was just another hate knife that tried its best to stab at me.

In high school – Oh God, I remember it like it was yesterday – one girl would throw trash at me because I was “garbage”. I remember being very confused and thinking who in their right mind would ever do this to someone? Yes, I was sad and yes I was defeated, but I was honestly more shocked and confused than anything. When I didn’t react in the way she wanted, she made life quite difficult just being an intimidating asshole towards me. It was quite sad because I actually liked her. I thought she was a pretty decent person – funny, pretty, personable – except for her blatant flaw: She was clearly an idiot because trash goes in a garbage can and I am obviously not a garbage can, you dumb. I am a human being, however ugly, gangly, poor, or any other negative word you can stab me with, but even I – 16 year old self-conscious me – know that I’m not garbage.

Believe it or not, being a garbage can wasn’t as hurtful as being ugly in grade 8. I don’t know if I was more mature or just getting used to the bullying, but J (the girl who threw trash at me) didn’t get to me like S did. I think it’s because I believed S. I did think I was really ugly…

But now? Girl, I’m flawed and imperfect and damn beautiful. I’m unique looking and when I look in the mirror, I’m pretty content with what I see – but it took a hell of a long time to get there because words hurt and stick around like unwanted waste.

That S situation stuck with me hard, and it definitely did some damage. I went to therapy for while, which changed my life! Go ahead bullies and make fun of me for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah… I’m weak and your words hurt me so bad that I had to see a doctor to reaffirm that I was okay. Actually, going to therapy was a blessing in disguise because it brought up some other issues that I worked through and now I’m mentally healthy as shit, at least more than I was.

So anyway, those are my biggest bullying moments among many. I’m not alone and I’m not unique. Many people are bullied thanks to you, bullies. It’s terrible but it happens.

What I’d like from you, bullies, is for you to stop bullying the weak. Stop bullying the innocent kids who sit next to you in class trying to do their work and make it through the day without feeling stupid, ugly, hopeless, HATED. Just stop.

Can’t stop because you’re an asshole? Okay fine, if you really must bully someone, bully me. I told you I got bullied for being ugly garbage, so here I am. Have at it!

There's me. Raw and real. No make-up, no smile, no nothing. Just natural, nothing pretty or special. Go nuts, you bullies. I'll take it if it means others won't. Here, I'll help you out: weirdish eyebrows, big nose, red face, wrinkles, deformed lip, uneven hair... 

Make sure to point out all my flaws and tell your friends even. Do whatever you have to do to keep your dumb actions and words away from kids who are having a hard enough time as it is growing up with your rude ass screwing up their ability to calm down and relax enough to write a math test, eat lunch, SMILE. You’re a bully and you’re proud of it? There’s nothing to be proud of. You negatively impact many people for years and years and are the cause of a giant headache to teachers everywhere who are trying SO hard to make this piece of shit issue go away. You are the reason for headaches. Does this please you? Why don’t you look inside yourself and figure out how to be a more positive person. It is possible. Try asking kids who are bullied and still come to school with their heads held high. Obviously they see positivity somewhere – they could teach your ass a thing or too about how to get through life. They are a hell of a lot stronger than you, bullies. You’re all weak ass bitches who don’t know how to be civil human beings, and you feed off of the ugly hate you spread.

So go ahead and laugh at my picture. Laugh at my words, just fucking point and laugh and get your kicks out of making MY life miserable, because you can’t. I’m immune to your shit so use me as your verbal punching bag and leave the others alone who don’t deserve it and can’t take it.

Basically what I’m saying, bullies, is fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Also, suck it.

From me and all the frustrated people who think bullying is for losers and wish it would stop – and it will someday, so get ready for that you assholes – peace out.

Dear bullies, I dislike your actions immensely but I don’t HATE you, because hate is reserved for something I care more passionately about in a negative way, like raisins. I’m not wasting my heavy emotions on you, you dick. No… I simply dislike you and feel very dissatisfied with your motives. Now go on and hate on me. Get your hate out and then go to school tomorrow, too tapped out to hate on anyone else, and show the world that you can be a decent human being.

So after all this anger I’ve expunged on you, bullies, I’m going to go and do my anti-bullying workshops and change the world. Because we – the positive people who believe in kindness and love – are stronger than you, and we will rise above your words and actions and hurt. We will! So watch out, because we don’t intend on being stopped.

You’re welcome.

Sarah the strong Wun

Welcome to Chiang Mai: Day Three

DAY THREE: ELEPHANTS!

After a good night’s rest, we woke up early to make our way to a farm to feed elephants! As I climbed out of bed SHIVERING, I couldn’t help but notice that I was still cold in Thailand… damn it! We layered up and went down to the lobby to wait for our driver. It was so cold and so rainy that he even called to ask if we wanted to cancel because the conditions prevented us from doing many activities with the elephants like swimming. Since we were only in Thailand for one more day (and we flew out tomorrow), we said we didn’t have a choice and therefore went to the farm hoping for the best but expecting ugly weather and potentially uncomfortable conditions (mud and such).

Only two other people came with us – I guess most of the customers canceled on account of the weather – and they were from Alberta. We bonded over our Canadian heritage on the way to the farm.

Arguably the most entertaining part of the entire day was our guide, James. He was a cute little old Thai man who, upon picking us up from our hotel, said “Are you ready to rock and roll?” and I loved him immediately. He was absolutely hilarious and I guess a little offensive if you offend easily. He called me Bernard’s ball and chain but said I was the best ball and chain, haha. He also told us this joke about three moms each with different colored hair. The brunette mom found alcohol in her daughter’s room, the black haired mom found drugs in her daughter’s room (or something like that, I’m not too sure). I only remember the punchline. The blonde mom found condoms in her daughter’s room and said “She must have a dick”! When he said dick, naturally I laughed my ass off. I really wasn’t expecting this cute old man to tell such crude jokes. Yeah, he was a tad inappropriate. He asked us and the other couple how often we “burn the midnight oil” to which we all just laughed awkwardly. His euphemism for the word fat was “cuddly” and he kept calling the one guy in our party cuddly because he wasn’t gangly like the rest of us. After like the 800^th time calling him cuddly, I think he actually started to get pissed!

Whenever James saw something he didn’t approve of, he would say “I might have to kick his ass. ‘Get on a bike!’” I think “Get on a bike” is his expression for eff you… and he said it a lot. “I tell my boss to get on a bike! (laughs)”. Oh James, I miss your awkward constant use of idiomatic language and borderline sketchy demeanor.

On the way to the farm, James told us some stories about Thai politics because it was the Princess’ birthday, so there was a while where all traffic was stopped and we wanted to know why. He was saying that the Princess often did things like this and how he wished people could just go about their life without interruptions.

When we finally arrived at the farm, we saw elephants in the distance and got giddy! We got some ugly ass clothes to change into, bags of small bananas, peanuts and sugar cane to feed the elephants with, and we were off. We walked around the grounds and came to the elephants. James gave us some information about them before we approached them. There were four. To be honest, I don’t remember all of their names, but the mama and baby were Nana and Chopper. Chopper was crazy and had crazy eyes! James warned us not to tease or intimidate any of the elephants but especially Chopper. He said once that some guy wasn’t listening and teasing Chopper by pretending to play-fight with him. Chopper got excited and head-butted the guy in the chest and broke one of his ribs! After this story, I was cool with keeping my distance from Chopper! Crazy elephant…

Elephants are really cool animals. They eat all day constantly and are actually quite sweet. We fed them for a while (I was pretty timid and didn’t get too close, but Bernard was all up in there. He even fed Chopper and had to push him away a few times because his crazy eyes were lighting up). Luckily, Chopper was tied to his mama and James explained that the reason for that was because Chopper was so young and often ran away from Nana. Nana would get nervous and scream out for her baby and so the only option was to give Chopper a sort of leash so Nana could control him. Also, it kept the crazy ass from head-butting anyone!

We then got to walk with the elephants up a hill to where the workers make medicine for them. It was really cute! Because it was so cold there and the elephants weren’t used to it, one of the elephants refused to walk in the water because he was so chilly. He was shivering and walking along the road, and when the time came for him to have to cross a river, he squealed and ran across, lifting his legs high so he wouldn’t touch the water for too long. This made me laugh a little. Then once on dry land, he was happy. Haha!

Clearly, we didn’t swim with the elephants. James said that every farm visit is different because it all depends on the elephants. They don’t force the elephants to do anything and so if the elephants don’t feel like doing something, it won’t be done. I liked this! A lot of places in Thailand let you ride elephants and watch them do tricks and stuff. This place didn’t. The elephants did say “thank you” (they bowed after being fed) but for the most part, they just got to chill and we enjoyed their company.

After feeding the elephants medicine, we let them roam around while we ate lunch. I was happy to sit and eat some nice warm food. We were all freezing cold and this made us a little less social. I think our experience would have been a lot better if we were warmer and the weather was compliant, but what can you do. Bernard and I still smiled the whole time! (As we do!)

The day was fun. At the end of the “tour”, we went back to the little hut and hung out by a fire one of the dudes built. James told us stories and flipped his eyelids to freak me out… naturally. He then told us that his niece lived in Toronto so we bonded over all our Canada knowledge. Then James leaned over to Bernard and said “You get me ball and chain from Canada? I want brown hair, blue eyes, big nose only.” Hahaha! We all had a laugh and then headed back into town.

 

Day three was a success. When we got back to the hotel, we cleaned up and hit the town again for another massage at a different Lila massage branch. As if this one was better than the last! Bernard and I got a private room and enjoyed lovely sounds of babbling brooks and pan flute this time! I love Thailand.

Welcome to Chiang Mai: Day two

DAY TWO:

The next day, we woke up and had a nice leisurely breakfast downstairs. It was nice to not have to rush and we just enjoyed each other’s company as we watched the other guests stare in confusion out the window: it was cold and rainy! And by cold, I mean I was wearing a long sleeve and pants and still clutching my arms. Some people were wearing winter coats which kind of made me laugh because we were in Thailand!

Since it was cold and rainy and rather stupid outside, I thought what a perfect morning for a massage. Our cooking class wasn’t until late afternoon, so we headed out to this place called Lila Massage. We went the previous evening because it was hopping, but it was fully booked. Luckily, the mornings were a lot quieter (everyone gets an evening massage).

Lila Massage was advertised as a women’s rehabilitation center for ex-prisoners. Women in prison would learn the art of massage and then come back and work at Lila – cool! We thought that was a really cool concept. Because of this, the masseuses were extremely attentive and professional and the price was right! When we walked in, the aromas of lavender and lemon grass hugged my nostrils and I instantly felt relaxed. Two sweet ladies shuffled over and bowed. “Sawasdee ka” (Sa-wa-dee-kah) I said and they smiled and gave us clothes to change into for our Thai massages. Then they washed our feet (I love this part because having clean feet is a treat to me! Please don’t think that my feet are always dirty, but when you’re traipsing around Thailand in flip-flops, you are bound to flip and flop some dirt and sludge, and scrubbing your feet in a cold and stupid shower just didn’t cut it!). Anyway, after the warm foot bath, we were offered tea before we lied down and had arguably the best experience known to man. A Thai massage is when the masseuse uses her entire damn body to press pressure points on yours. It feels amazing. From foot all the way to head, we were pampered and pressed. It was incredible. I felt absolutely amazing the whole time. At one point, she grabbed my leg and twisted it in a weird way and it popped which made her gasp. She profusely apologized and I said not to worry and to continue, although it did hurt a bit.

The only not perfect thing about this massage was that beside me there was a man getting a massage and for some reason the curtain was drawn (there were at least four people beside us and no curtains so it was a little fishy). Every second I heard some clear exclamations of pleasure that I assumed at first was a guy who was really stiff just enjoying a nice back rub. Bernard said he heard nothing because he was so zened out, but I was right beside what could only be described as a happy ending! Sigh… oh well, at least he was enjoying his vacation.

Anyway, after the most incredible massage, we glided back to the hotel to put on another layer and await the pick up for the cooking class. (Another amazing thing about the massage was I was warm and comfortable! I swear, it was THAT cold!)

We were picked up outside our hotel around 1pm and brought to a Thai market along with a handful of other couples. We got to learn about a few different kinds of Thai vegetables and herbs and bought some ingredients for the cooking class. The coolest part of this class (there were dozens of cooking classes to choose from in Chiang Mai) was that you could customize your menu uniquely to yourself. For example, my menu was completely different than Bernard’s. Each of us got to pick 3 courses with a few different options. No one had the same menu! I thought this was really nice and made our experience unique and more tailored to ourselves. My menu was spice-less and Bernard’s was intense, haha.

We begin with a little treat that wasn’t advertised in the brochure – deep fried spring rolls. Hell yes, I can taste them now as I think of them!! We all got to chop fresh ingredients and one by one drop the roll into piping hot oil and watch it dance as it crisped up, which actually took no time at all!

We inhaled the spring rolls in a nearby room and exchanged names, countries, and stories for a bit before starting to cook our menus.

Our chef brought out a bunch of silver platters, each with our unique ingredients in in for each course. I was at a station with other people who wanted to cook Pad Thai and Bernard was at an adjacent station for the people who liked all the spice! We began by chopping up ingredients and asking loads of questions about substitutions and such seeing as none of us actually lived in Thailand and access to the ingredients was harder – one guy was Russian and had never eaten half of the things we were making. We are lucky enough to live in Asia so most of the ingredients are accessible.

Then we moved over to the cooking stations and started mixing our bases in cute little pots. Bernard and I giggled as we took pictures of each other stirring – I maintain that doing a cooking class is arguably one of the best date ideas. I felt like I was on a group date and it was adorably cute.

Anyway, after stirring and mixing (and having the chef fix some stuff – I mixed my Pad Thai perfectly but the guy beside me clearly didn’t have my cuisinal expertise so his looked very different… still tasted fabulous though!)

After completion of the cooking, we went back to that nearby room and feasted. My lord there was a lot of food on our table. We had five people at our small table and three courses each. We were all stuffed by the end of lunch!

One thing I really appreciated about this cooking class which didn’t happen as much during our Shanghai cooking class, is the amount of time we got to just chill and eat. We made friends with a Russian couple and they told us about Russian food traditions. They were from New York so they gave us some insight into being Russian-American. They loved that we were from Canada but lived in China, which is another unique food story!

All in all, the cooking class was perfect (minus the freezing ass weather). We were plenty stuffed and each got a Thai cookbook filled with the recipes we had just made. What a wonderful end to a beautiful afternoon. Now, I don’t want to brag, but as a Pad Thai connoisseur, I feel I have the credibility to say that MY Pad Thai was the best Pad Thai I had ever eaten. Granted I had a lot of help and the chef literally walked us through it so it was bulletproof and we were guaranteed delicious food at the end.

We got back to the hotel and it was still cold and rainy. We didn’t really know what to do because most of the activities offered to us required warm and dry weather. We decided that this was a vacation, damn it, and therefore doing nothing was perfect! We grabbed our eBooks and hit a downtown café for hours. After hours of pleasant, cozy reading and a pot of tea (with little cookies on the side!), we wandered a few shops down to a little restaurant where we set up camp on the very chilly patio and enjoyed pineapple fried rice and papaya salad. That food though… man I love Thailand!

Welcome to Chiang Mai: Day One

DAY ONE:

After a stressful last few days of school (testing and whatnot), Bernard and I were so happy to relax and enjoy the hot and chill atmosphere of Thailand. We packed almost instantly and waited for Saturday to come.

I decided to wear layers to the airport: tank top, t-shirt, long sleeve, sweater, two summer scarves. It was freezing balls in Shanghai, but I knew Chiang Mai would be nice and warm and didn’t want to carry around a big, bulky winter coat! Bernard followed suit minus the tank top and we were on our way. We hurriedly shuffled onto the nice warm subway and made our way to the airport.

On the way onto the Maglev (airport fast train), we met a gentleman who glanced at our sweaters (Bernard’s “Canada” and my “UBC”) and smiled at us. Bro’s gotta be Canadian, I thought. Then he smiled and said, “You guys heading home to Canada?” and we continued to tell him that we lived in Shanghai and were both from the Toronto area. He was from Oakville! Could the world BE smaller?! We shared pleasantries and parted ways at the check-in counter. Goodbye best friend Canadian man!

I won’t bore you with the details of security and customs. I didn’t have an invasive pat down and Bernard didn’t get escorted to a secret room because of his Arabic beard and UAE visa. It was smooth sailing!

After what felt like 800 hours, we boarded the plane. Now, a colleague booked this trip for us, and it was a package deal from a Chinese agency called SpringTour. I can’t say anything bad about it because we got there in one piece, but most if not all flights I’ve boarded in Asia have fed me, especially if the flight is more than 3 or 4 hours. This was essentially a greyhound bus in the sky…

When we landed, I all but fainted. After barely passing through customs without vomiting, I went to the bathroom and glanced at my ghostly ass. I splashed some water on my face, which kept me alive enough to get to the hotel. We took a tuktuk style taxi to the hotel (which was really fun, even for my sickly ass!) and checked in. Bernard went and got some water and snacks, but I could barely eat a pumpkin seed without wanting to vom.

Needless to say, when I woke up the next day, I was the happiest human in the world to be on solid ground. My stomach, however, was eating itself! I stumbled my skeletal ass down to breakfast where I took a bite of literal heaven. By literal heaven, I mean that I was so hungry it could have been a piece of chalk and I’d be happy eating it. But in all seriousness, the breakfast was a nice Thai/Chinese buffet which satisfied and satiated.

Now that I was alive, we could hit the town! Chiang Mai is a very cute city. Essentially, there’s a circle of city and we were on the outskirts of it. After crossing a road, we were in the city centre (about a 15 minute walk). I think we literally walked for 12 hours on the first day. By the time we finished breakfast around 8:30am and got back to the hotel in the evening just after 9pm, sweet Jesus.

Day one was temple day! I think we saw like 8 temples on our first day. Our plan was to get as much done as possible just in case something went wrong like I snapped my leg (Egypt!). 

It was actually not that hot on the first day. Or the second or third or at all! Actually, the first day there was a bit of sun in the morning and then it down-poured pretty much until we left 4 days later! We were lucky enough on the first day to feel approximately two raindrops and quickly dash under an eaves trough where we watched a sheet of water barrel down onto the ground. It was so noisy and crazy but we were dry and enjoyed the show from our dry land.

When the rain let up, we continued on to a tasty little joint called “It’s Good Kitchen”. Well, it was. Bernard got an adorable curry with the rice shaped like a teddy bear so naturally I was hooked. This was my first Pad Thai of the trip and I was happy – my stomach was not. Classic Sarah tummy pains, you know. Also, when you travel, you don’t eat at the same times every day and my tummy was not having it. Luckily, I breathed it out and we ventured off to the fifth temple of the day.

The temples in Chiang Mai are lovely. Some are really small and some are sizeable -- one was all silver! We knew that Angkor Wat was in our future, so we were expecting to be blown away by that, but these temples were still very nice.

On our way down a more crowded street, we found a tent with performances going on. Apparently, it was the Princess’ birthday so there were many cultural celebrations going on. We stopped to pound back a lake’s worth of water and watched some dances. I really enjoyed them! The dancers were all smiles and the music was really cool. We spent at least an hour being mesmerized by the cool cultural spectacles of elephant masked dancers and mind-boggling instruments.

This was a Sunday and I had read before we departed for Thailand that Sunday was the night market! I was so excited to see a Farmer’s Market “Thai style”. My mouth was watering thinking of all the food!

The night market was as advertised. Crowded and bustling! It started to rain really heavily at one point, and again we were thankful to be squashed under a food stall’s umbrella eating spring rolls and mango sticky rice. I enjoyed every bite with feet that were getting progressively colder and wetter! We saw the average souvenir-y fare and a variety of cool street food eats. We got some Thai sausage, fried banana (it was so small!) and fruit smoothies. Bernard had a street papaya salad that was less than enjoyable but hey, there’s always going to be a bad one in the bunch. And he felt good buying it from a sweet little old lady, even though it kind of sucked.

As we walked through the cold, wet rainy streets, I saw what I had been waiting for since months before sitting at my desk with a stiff neck and sore feet – massage! This was an outdoor massage: there were chairs lined up along the night market street and people were getting a foot rub for a very reasonable 80THB ($3 Canadian). I walked my dirty ass feet over and plopped down in a chair. The man looked at my feet, grabbed a towel, and wiped them off. He smiled and chuckled as he did so, probably wondering why I essentially was the swamp thing from the ankle down and I pointed out at the rainy streets. He smiled and got to work. Bernard, a little reluctantly, sat down beside me. As soon as he sat down, a larger woman came and grabbed his feet and went to work. After an uncomfortable minute, he began to enjoy the relaxing massage. Our first massage in Thailand: works for me!

After the massage, it was quite late and we had been walking for 4000 days, so we made our way back to the hotel and crashed instantly – but not before booking a few tours.

We each picked something to do in Thailand. Bernard wanted a Thai cooking class and I wanted to feed Elephants. These were our outings. Tomorrow: Cooking Thai cuisine in a much colder than expected kitchen!