So once again, on Saturday, I bundled up and headed out on a
long subway ride out to Xujian village to volunteer at Shanghai Healing home. I
was really excited to see the kids, especially my two favourite girls!
When I got there, we cleaned the toys and the rooms as per
usual. I am a seasoned volunteer now, as I was the only person who had been
before, so I took the lead and did most of the washing. It was cool! It’s nice
to feel familiar in a place you plan to be for a while. We cleaned up the rooms
and waited patiently for the babies.
This time, a lot of kids slept in so we had to wait a little
longer for playtime. Some boys came down and were sat in the first playroom. I
went in and sat next to a bigger boy who was just staring up at the fan. His
eyes were huge and curious. I picked him up and sat him on my lap, but his eyes
stayed on the fan. I was grabbing at toys and trying to engage this sweet
little boy but he just wanted to stare. I then picked him up so he could be
higher and closer to the fan, and as I did I was surprised at how heavy he was.
“Oh my, you’re a big one, aren’t you?” I said. I was so used
to Hua who was lighter than air. None of the kids had been this heavy. One of
the permanent volunteers laughed and said, “Yeah, most of the kids in this room
are around 1 year old or younger. He’s three.” I couldn’t believe it. He
crawled around like an infant and barely spoke. She noticed the look of curiosity
on my face and continued. “He’s in this room because he has a lot of
developmental problems and, you know, other things.” I then looked at this
boy’s face and for the first time, our eyes sort of met. His eyes were very
crossed, but they were beautiful and filled with life.
I smiled, stuck out my tongue, made sounds – tried anything
to get him to smile. The Ayis and other volunteers watched as I tried and
failed. Then I pushed out my cheeks and blew in his face. He jumped a little
and gasped, then giggled. I did it again and he giggled more, but he still
didn’t smile. I learned that his smile was just him baring his teeth and
scrunching his nose. He didn’t have the facial development to curl his lips or
widen his mouth.
He got bored really easily of my puffer fish face so we
moved on to another task. I pushed a fire truck towards him, but he didn’t want
to play with any of the toys. He wanted to walk – but he couldn’t. I managed to
help him stand, but he winced and whined after a few moments because it hurt
his weak legs to stand awkwardly for so long. When he pushed himself up to
stand, his ribs moved in and out as if he was trying as hard as he could to do
a simple task that the other kids could do much easier.
I really enjoyed playing with this little boy and I am
looking forward to seeing him again, but I really wanted to see my girls!! I
put him down and let him occupy himself once again with the spinning ceiling
fan, but he started to cry. I picked him up and took him with me as I went to
find the director. “Hey, where’s Guo Yong Hua?” Guo is my little sassy pants
with the double unrepaired cleft that I bonded with so well a few weeks ago.
“Oh yes her. She’s not here.”
I was a little nervous when he said this. Why wasn’t she
there? Was she in the hospital? Did she have an infection? Where was she?!
Not only Guo, but where was Hua Yuan? Where were the two
little girls who I’d take home with me right now after feeling so maternal and
warm just two weeks prior?
Well, Guo was in the hospital and still is. She’s having her
double cleft lip repair surgery!!! The director told me that when I come back,
she’ll have a closed lip! I almost cried. I was so excited and now as I sit and
type, I an envisioning how she will look, smile, eat, feel, breathe, and just
exist. I know she’ll be happier and much healthier too. The director said
she’ll likely be sassier, but that’s my little Guo! I can’t wait to see her own
the room again like she always does.
As for Hua Yuan… where was she? Great news! Hua was adopted
only two days ago to a family in America. J
This was a bittersweet moment for me because I knew I’d never see her again. I
miss her a lot even though I only met her twice. When I think about having a
little wun of my own, I think about Hua. She’s tiny and sweet and has big
beautiful brown eyes, just like me and Bernard! Part of me wanted to scoop her
up and take her home the first time I laid eyes on her, but I was content just
visiting her every other week. Now I can’t do that, but I need to get over my
selfish ass! She’s in a better place and will be cared for and loved for the
rest of her life in a superior environment.
So great news all around this week at the orphanage. Despite
the fact that I didn’t get to see my girls, there are two amazing reasons for
it! One life-changing surgery and one life-changing adoption. Good luck Hua,
and as for Guo Yong Hua? Girl, I can’t wait to see you even more whole than you
were before.
Until next time,
Sarah the happy Wun
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