HBD IBS: An unpredictably obstructed birthday extravaganza

Thanks abdomen, that’s JUST what I wanted for my birthday

A few weeks ago, I celebrated my 27^th birthday. I started the celebrations at the beginning of the week by sampling some of my favourite foods on Monday and enjoying a massage on Tuesday. Wednesday would be my day of fun and birthday goodness because Thursday, my actual birthday, I had to work so I couldn’t have too much fun.

On Wednesday morning, Bernard and I got up and had a quick snack. We were meeting a bunch of friends for Dim Sum brunch across town but not until 12:30, so we ate a little fruit to tide us over until then.

I must have tried on 8 billion outfits and did my makeup 4 times. I was really excited – my first birthday outside of Canada! We hopped the metro (rush hour to the right!!!) and headed over to Fu Lin Xuan where some friends were waiting for us at a big, beautiful table in a private room. We exchanged hugs and waited for the rest. More people than I was expecting showed up. 

Everyone had a huge smile on his or her face and immediately we began chatting, eating, and laughing. I felt so warm and fuzzy! I missed my family a lot (I still do!), but having such warm, friendly faces around me sharing my favourite foods and celebrating was a really great feeling.

At lunch, my friends sang Happy Birthday to me in languages from their respective countries. I was serenaded in Russian, Chinese, Filipino, Afrikaans, Cambodian, French, Spanish, and naturally English. It was a really nice experience. I also got gifts, which was unexpected! Think about it. Feeling love from all over the world! That’s how it felt. I also received cards from back home, which made me feel just as close as if I had been in Canada that day.

After Dim Sum, we decided to continue hanging out so we all grabbed ice cream (aka my friends and husband grabbed ice cream and I waited and searched for other goodies later). After ice cream and a slice of lemon cake (yum!), we walked around, did a little shopping, and just chilled with a few friends before picking up a duck for dinner and bringing it home.

Bernard and I, along with two beautiful friends, chowed down on some delicious duck (to the right... yummmmmm) and rice and then I changed into my birthday dress and we headed out for the second part of my day! The Rum Bar!

At the Rum Bar, we met up with more friends, some of whom I hadn’t seen in a while. Big hugs, warm smiles, and cheers were had. We shared a few toasts of rum and made our way next door to a club where I did what I do best – danced my ASS off! The night started with free flow champagne and 90’s beats. I was in Heaven. My tummy was filled with dim sum and duck, a little rum, and a glass of champagne. 

It was too dark to take pictures but I did anyway!!! 

The room held some of my favourite people who loved me for the crazy, loud, hilarious, and naturally hot ass I am. I was really happy. It’s not every day I gorge myself a little on food and alcohol and get spoiled by such warm compliments from people I’ve known a short time who have come together to celebrate my birthday.

Wednesday was perfect. I had the most beautiful day.

The next day it was my actual birthday. I was woken up by delicious smells of french toast cooking in the kitchen. Topped with fruit and love! I also received gifts from Bernard, which perfectly complimented me: scarves for my scarf-obsessed ass, comforting lavender and herbal teas. It was perfect. I was happy. I was even excited to go to work!! Yes, it was my birthday, but I love teaching; so doesn’t it seem fitting for me to do what I love on my birthday?! J

At work I was feeling a little uncomfortable and unfortunately my pains grew so strong that I had to leave and go immediately to the hospital. I called Bernard who met me halfway and accompanied me to my safe haven: the most beautiful, spa-like, comforting International hospital in Shanghai! (aka I’ve never been anywhere else, but I don’t need to go anywhere else. This hospital is amazing).

I was pretty sure I was okay and just needed some medicine and a doctor’s note for work. I was wrong.

After an X-ray and some urine and blood work, I was told I had an intestinal obstruction and it was serious. I would be admitted to the hospital that evening. I burst into tears. I went into the waiting room and cried at Bernard. He followed me back into the doctor’s office where the doctor explained what was going on. I protested against being admitted and said I HAD to go to work (because I’m such a responsible and selfless adult), but the doctor and Bernard metaphorically bitch-slapped me back to reality. The doctor threw around words like tumor and blockage and rupture and the possibility of the big “c”. I lost it. I buckled over in my chair and worried like a jackass. He then assured me that he would do a thorough investigation and make sure I was fine before I left the hospital. Being my last week at work, I was devastated. Life… what the hell is your problem? First of all, it’s my birthday! I have dinner plans! Also, I have work to do!!! I was forced to put EVERYTHING on hold and worry about my stupid abdomen. Frigging body. Such an attention whore…

Bernard did all my paperwork while I sat in the waiting room and calmed down. A nurse came by to comfort me and then she walked me to my room.

“Welcome to the honeymoon suite! We hope you enjoy your stay at the Shangri-La hotel”. Kidding! But seriously though. This room was double the size of our apartment and the bathroom was glorious. The bed was actually pretty comfortable and there was a flat screen TV and a fridge and microwave and a washing machine! Damn!

I decided to remain calm. If I had to be ill, at least I was in a beautiful place with MANY doctors to attend to me. Nurses came and went; first with my IV (not bad… this bitch knew what she was doing and it didn’t hurt as much as I anticipated), then with medicine after medicine after medicine (“I love you Bernard. I’m so happy. Isn’t this place pretty? I’m so thankful. I see clouds.”) Then to measure my blood pressure, then to give me some medicine NOT orally (I’ll spare you. Long story short, I cried and called the nurse a slut because she ignored me when I said “I don’t want to do that”. BUT it worked and helped my ‘situation’). Then to just check on me and update me with tests and what would happen tomorrow and the next day.

On Friday, I sent a reluctant Bernard to work. He wanted to stay with me, but I assured him I would just be lying around watching Gossip Girl and sleeping on and off and complaining about my IV.

I had a lot of time lying in that hospital bed to think about things. I’m in Shanghai. I’m teaching English. I’m being treated for something I already knew was a problem. I’m being cared for. I had an amazing birthday celebration the day before. I was loved and comforted by many people around me. My phone was blinking all weekend with friends and family messaging me asking how I was doing. With the exception of my bowel, I felt great. Support and love are some of the best medicines, really.

Later on, I went down for a CT scan and the nurse informed me of what would happen when I got the shot of stuff in my hand. She said I would feel very hot but this was normal. I went into the room, all smiles. (Hey! I know I’m in a hospital and it’s not fun, but this is an adventure nonetheless and I love my life, and if all this shit has to happen, I may as well smile through it). I laid down on the bed thing and a doctor came over and started talking to me. He was from Pakistan and doing his internship at Shanghai University. He was really nice and said I had such a positive attitude and was really happy for someone in the hospital. I said “why be sad and pissed when you can be happy?” and he said I was a refreshing patient because most patients yelled at him and blamed him for their illnesses. I said there was no point in blame. I said I blamed all the damn delicious food in Shanghai for my condition! He laughed.

The nurse asked if I felt hot yet and I said no. Maybe it only happened to some people. Just then, they moved me into this tube thing to do the scan. I started to feel weird. Not bad or in pain, but really strange. It was kind of cool! I was really warm all over my body. I felt like I was peeing, which I know is gross, but shut up it feels good to pee! – I wasn’t peeing, calm down. Then all of a sudden the feeling stopped. It’s really cool to have feelings like that; feelings you know you probably won’t have again. I embraced it. It was happening and it wouldn’t stop, so I may as well embrace it. (As much as you think I’m a strong, positive, and sunshine person right now [wow look at Sarah. She’s so positive taking everything with a smile and dealing with what’s coming to her like a champion], I’ll have you know I did NOT embrace the non-oral medicine…. That procedure can shove it. I will cut somebody before doing that again). Haha!

I got the scan and was sent back to my room for more Gossip Girl and sleeping on and off.

I was discharged a few days later with medicine and a strict no eating, very little getting up routine. I spent the next few days at home really enjoying being in my apartment with no IV and relaxing. I also, once again, thanked God for having two bathrooms!!!

The best thing to come from this experience was realizing that it takes a lot to get me down. As much as I was pissed about the whole thing and had a few WHY ME?!?! moments, for the most part, I felt cared for, comforted, loved, and safe. I was informed 4 days later that my tests came back normal and I didn’t have pancreatic or colon cancer. Nothing would rupture. There was no tumor. I had a minor infection that I’m working on treating.

What an adventure! A STUPID adventure. Sometimes we forget that life happens when we’re living. I temporarily forgot that I had IBS when I was celebrating my birthday! I didn’t hydrate enough, I ate too much, I just didn’t take care of my abdomen. And I need to.

Living with IBS is an adventure. More often than not, it’s a shitty one – PUN INTENDED! But you know what? It’s an adventure nonetheless, and I’m having a great time getting to know my body and my self and realizing just how strong I am when it comes to eliminating certain things (specifically food). Is it a drag to not be able to eat pizza, cheese, ice cream, most sugars, fried foods, and some days nothing but rice? YES! But Bernard keeps saying, “You’ll outlive us all because you’re FORCED to be healthy”, and that’s not a bad thing.

I don’t eat vegan foods and avoid gluten and do yoga and drink herbal tea to be cool and hipster… I do it because it helps me live a better life and in turn makes me the happiest I can be. If you can eat gluten, DO IT. But don’t forget to drink lots of water. J I know I won’t forget anymore. *downs a lake of water* *pees for 6 days* Dear water, GET IN MY BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOCTOR’S ORDERS. Tell me something I don’t know… Stupid IBS. Bitch, I hate you … but you’re around so let’s go shopping and you can try NOT hurting me, okay?

Here’s to being hopeful and dealing with what ails me wun day at a time,

Love you all,

Sarah the positive Wun

P.S. When you feel like shit (PUN), put on some lipstick, let down your lion's mane, and pretend you feel great... more often than not, you'll feel better. I sure did.