Baby Crazy in Abu Dhabi

Baby Crazy in Abu Dhabi

My best friend in Abu Dhabi was pregnant when I arrived in September, 2012. We spent a lot of time together and I was so excited to meet her baby! Bernard and I were on the “it’s time” list to help out when she went into labour. Unfortunately, the ONLY weekend we picked to have a tiny Christmas vacation over the three-week long holiday was when she went into labour! We quickly bussed home to Abu Dhabi and the baby came.

The next day was Christmas Eve. We ate breakfast, picked up a couple of essentials from her apartment and headed to the hospital. It had been a while since I’d held a baby, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a baby this new before. Seeing and holding an ultra-newborn baby is a precious moment only people who have been there can understand. I loved every minute. Aryan was approximately 12 hours old when I held him. I looked right at Bernard and he just shook his head and looked concerned. HAH!

<-- Bernard's reaction to my baby fever

Fortunately for my baby-loving self, my friend and her family lived a short walk downstairs in our villa, so seeing her and the baby often was easy peasy. As a 20-something married woman, holding the cutest baby in Abu Dhabi frequently and not wanting a baby is hard. I often felt myself wanting a baby… so it was excellent that I could walk downstairs and “borrow” Aryan.

Being pregnant is natural in Abu Dhabi. It’s recommended. Having babies is seen as second nature.

I don’t know if I want kids. I always thought Bernard and I would be excellent parents, but since we’ve been married, no one has rushed to the “When are you having kids?!” question, and I really appreciate it!!! I like the idea of being married for a little while before even thinking about children!

Over here… different story.

“Miss, you married? Why you no baby?”

“Miss, you stomach hurt? You pregnant?!”

“Miss, you have baby yet?”

“Miss, how many children you have? What is zero? For why?!”

On Mother’s Day, I wished all the ladies at school a happy mother’s day. As a teacher, I feel like I have 21 kids! I spend ALL day with them and teach them very important skills in life, so damn straight I deserve a nice “Happy Mother’s Day”. Having said that, as I was wished a HMD, I smiled and said thank you. Uh oh. Wrong. Here it comes:

“Oh, you have kids?!”

Yes, 21 of them.

“….What?”

My students are my kids.

“No. When you will have kids?”

I JUST got married.

“Why you no pregnant?! Enshallah in one year you are pregnant.”

Okay.

In the Middle East, once you are married, you are expected to have kids. It’s just common practice. People were baffled and confused as to why Bernard and I weren’t planning a family yet. They instinctively thought I was pregnant or at least trying. To be honest, I think everyone was inquiring so much and insisting on my having a baby because Bernard and I would have THE cutest pseudo Asian baby ever. I count my lucky stars every day that I fell in love with someone so beautifully Asian and gorgeous it literally hurts my heart when he smiles. Hell, I’m pregnant just thinking about his beautiful smile!

 Right?!

Anyway, I was consistently reminded that I didn’t have a baby and should have a baby. It was kind of hilarious. One day, I had really bad IBS pains and had to be “rushed to the hospital” ß this was according to my VP. Rush is a strong word… I simply needed a ride there. Anyway, the woman who drove me said “What’s wrong?” and I said “My tummy really hurts” and she said “Oh, Mubarak! You are pregnant” and I was like “Helllllll no”. She was confused. Obviously stomach pain meant pregnancy. Anyway, I went to the emergency and was referred to a GI who encouraged me to get a colonoscopy ASAP and gave me some medicine. All is well.

That evening, I had returned from the hospital and was resting when my phone rang.

Hello?
“Hi, Miss Sarah?” It was the VP.

Oh hi!

“How are you? You feel better? What’s wrong?”

Oh, I have IBS and it was really bad, but the doctor said I’d be fine. Just tummy pains.

“You pregnant?!”

No!

“Oh okay, enshallah soon. See you tomorrow” hangs up

The next day, I was hand delivered a “present” from the VP. It was diaper cream, cream for a pregnant tummy, some baby oil, and a pamphlet for “new mothers”. Apparently, no I’m not pregnant meant yes, please supply me with baby essentials. I laughed but was nervous. Did she know something I didn’t?! Was I…. was I pregnant?! The psychology of all the pregnancy vibes, and likely prayers by women who just wanted to see me with a tummy because I was “too skinny miss!”, were getting to me and I was nervous that maybe all these thoughts MADE me pregnant.

As a Master of Sexual Health Education, I knew that one needed to sex to get pregnant; however, Abu Dhabi was a weird place and I saw women having babies left, right, and centre… so I was suspicious that there was something in the water…

I went home that day panicking. “BERNARD! Look what I got!” I showed him the pregnancy gifts and he smiled and said, “Didn’t you say you weren’t pregnant?” and then he laughed. I asked him “Bernard, what if I am pregnant?” and then he calmly sat down and said “Sarah, do you want me to tell you how babies are made?!” and we had a good laugh.

Bernard and I are married so I am perfectly comfortable saying that we have a lovely marriage with lots of love, but we love in a safe way. Typically, when you love safely, no baby… but I’m a paranoid moron sometimes, so I was just on “high period alert.”

The next day as I was feeding Aryan and he was smiling at me, I started thinking “what if?” Seriously, what if I was pregnant? Bernard and I are married and plan on being so for the next 478937 years. We make a decent living. Although we have overseas plans, they could easily be changed if needs be. I don’t drink anyway. I have a support system. I’m almost 26 years old. We are likely going to have a baby anyway.

I was starting to be “okay” with the idea that I could be pregnant.

(I’d like to stop and remind you that there was no way I was pregnant, but the BABY FEVER in Abu Dhabi was practically brainwashing me into thinking that the baby way is the only way!)

 Anyway, I got my period and was happy, obviously. I sat down with Bernard and I started to say “Hey, you know, I was thinking that it wouldn’t be so bad if I was pregnant…” He cut me off, “WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR DINNER?!” I stopped him. “Bernard! Just listen. Calm down. But seriously, if I were to get pregnant—“ He started pacing and opening and closing the fridge door. Then he went into the kitchen, turned on the tap, and looked at me. “What? I can’t hear you.”

At that point, I realized Bernard was right. I was a little baby crazy and I needed to stop. That weekend, I babysat Aryan and felt better. I had my baby fix. Bernard also felt better because I stopped my insane thoughts about babies. He started to find pictures of puppies and very quickly I started saying, “Bernard, I want a dog!” He was happy. His mission was accomplished.

In a place where every other store is a baby store or a children’s store, it’s really hard to explain why you aren’t thinking about having a baby. People don’t understand “I’m still young” because I’m not, in their eyes. Heaven forbid I said “Fuck that. I don’t want no babies.” They’d probably die. Hah!

Last week I was walking to school with one of the assistants who lives in our villa. She asked me if I was going back to Canada for the summer. I said yes. After a long pause, she said, “Make babies” and we both laughed. I laughed awkwardly and she laughed because I was laughing. I said “No, no, no” and she started talking about IVF and other ways I could have a baby. She clearly didn’t understand that I wasn’t planning on having a baby. I’m still laughing.

In a nutshell, “Can I have an iced tea?” means “I’m pregnant” in this country.

Sarah not even Wun baby