There's no place like home

So I've been feeling a little homesick lately because Canada is the best. Just look at the love we have received over the year and a bit that we've been here. :)

In the spirit of the new unit, Oh the places you’ll go, I’ve been doing a lot of video searching on YouTube to find a suitable travel video to showcase my home and native land. This unit, I’ve printed off a few travel stories for my students. I’ve got a story about landing in LA (very simple and talks more about the plane than anything), a story about PEI and its picturesque beauty (this is the story we’re currently on), another story about an airplane doing international travel, and a story about Mexico and its homey quality.

We’re currently focused on the PEI story. I tried to find a story about Newfoundland, but when I came across this gem on PEI, I couldn’t resist. It paints a really beautiful and tranquil picture of the tiny but full of life province.

The other day, I asked my students to bring me three facts about PEI. I learned a lot! Haha. I’m excited to be able to focus on areas of Canada that the students are unfamiliar with. They know Toronto and Vancouver and a couple of them have heard of Montreal, but the East coast is often overlooked, which is such a shame as it is breathtaking. We talked about important trademarks of PEI. Lobsters, potatoes, red sand. “Red sand? But Mrs. Sarah, sand is not red,” one of my little inquisitive children claimed. “It is in PEI…” this clarification was met with 17 looks of awe. They were so curious about PEI! They wanted to know if I had been there and how it was different from the places they usually thought of when they think of Canada (Toronto, basically).

Yesterday, I played the students “The Island” by the Barra MacNeils from Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. I asked them to listen to the song and circle descriptive words and then describe Cape Breton based on the words in the song. I then showed them a picture slideshow of Nova Scotia. They ooed and awed at all the greenery and fresh lobsters in their traps. They gasped and giggled at the moose and the seagulls.

Sidebar: When the picture of the moose came up, this is what I heard and it made my life:

Student #1: Look! A bear!
Student #2: That’s not a bear! It’s a cow!

From now on, the moose’s nickname is bear-cow. How excellent is that?!?!

I think the best reaction was a handful of kids pointing and saying “Wowwww!” at a picture of a lovely forest. The greens and browns were astounding. I definitely won the kids over and they all want to travel to the east coast of Canada. J

On Friday, the students completed “postcards” of PEI based on the story we read and how they interpret written description. They will then be asked to pick any place in the world to create a “postcard” for and describe it to the class. I don’t doubt some of the kids will pick places in Canada. I know I’m biased, but I just love Canadian landscape, culture, and spirit! I wish I could teach a unit called “I love Canada!” I guess I could, really. Hah! In the same breath, this is an international minded school so I figured talking about traveling the world is a better bet. The world is so big! There’s not enough time to talk 

about it all!

These little activities are making me want to go back home to Newfoundland. Hilariously enough, after I found a video covering approximately a minute’s worth of pictures showcasing all the 13 provinces of Canada, I went into B’s office and he turned from his desk and said, “I really want to go to Prince Edward Island! Can we go visit your aunt?” Haha! I couldn’t have agreed more. I too was feeling homesick, for Ontario family and friends, but more so for the simple life on the East coast. It’s been years since I’ve been out East and I could use a dose of warm welcome, sea salt water, green blankets of grassland, and delicious bites of hot home cooked local seafood.

As I gazed at my wall of cards from family and friends and how much it has grown over the year and a bit we’ve been here, I couldn’t help but miss home. Bernard went out and got some fixings and made a big Western breakfast this morning. We felt like we were back in Canada. Every now and then, I need that.

I’m sorry Shanghai, but I cannot replace my home. Once a Newfie, always a Newfie. The spirit of Newfoundland is as strong as the screech they drinks.

Until next time.

Sarah the Canadian Wun

DJ Chris Jesus in the house!!!

I had my grade 6 students do the following homework over the 4 day Christmas long weekend:

-- Tell me what a holiday is and what it means to you. Tell me about your favourite holiday.

The students wrote mostly about Chinese New Year and the Moon festival, but a couple of them wrote about Christmas and let me tell you, some of the things they wrote were magical.

So it's hard not to love my students when they do things like bring Jimby (the class mascot; also known as Paul's monkey that he gave me to bring overseas and is now one of the most popular monkeys among my 6s) a Canadian sweater from Vancouver airport because they don't want him to get cold in my office when I go home on weekends. Omg...

So my students are the most creative kids on the planet, but their ESL-ness just adds to how awesome and creative the homework I receive is. Here are some golden moments from the holiday homework assignment:

“My favorite holiday is Christmas because in the Christmas you will get the gifts from the Santa Claus (our parents). Our parents sneak into our room and put the things in Christmas sock not Santa. Our parents do this because Santa Claus is not.”

Santa Claus is not. He just isn’t, okay?!?!?! This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read. So real… So logical. This kid knows the truth. Santa Claus (our parents) is the true meaning of Christmas.

This response was about holiday traditions:

“I think traditions is something the old people in your family are telling you to do some little stupid things. For example my grandma always tells me to eat some Double Ninth cake. Although they are sticky and yummy, I still don’t understand why I have to eat some weird cake in this festival. Well the answer it ‘no argue just do what old people says’ because I have to obey.”

HAHAHA! Some little stupid things. Hey you, eat this stupid little weird cake! Just do it. That is essentially what traditions are all about. Nailed it.

The next one is about Thanksgiving, and can I just say that this kid is a hero and a scholar? Here you go:

“At the Thanks Give, Americans eat the turkey and other foods and take land away from the Injuns. The Injuns eat the food too but not with the Americans. The Injuns Thanks Give in other way.”

Guys, guys! When was the last time you heard the word injuns!? I believe I heard it when I was watching Peter Pan  17 years ago! Oh man is this great. This kid warms my heart. He also wrote this gem:

“I prayed to Santa for some wonderful gifts and I got some wonderful gifts. Oh Christmas is so magical I want to wish you and yours the Merriest Christmas and the happiest New Years. I pray for no homework this holiday but you gave us some.”

So now I’m Satan… I gave this kid homework on CHRISTMAS?! Such a dick.

Among all 17 responses, this next masterpiece tops EVERYthing I read about “Western” holidays. This incredible response to the meaning of Christmas made me laugh out loud, almost to the point of peeing myself, and I couldn't help but read it over again to make sure it was actually what I read. 

Brace yourself for the greatest moment of 2014:

“Today I’m going to tell about Christmas. Christmas is one of my favorite festivals. Let me have a little bit of Christmas’s introduction and talk about my own experience of Christmas.
Christmas is a festival that celebrates Chris Jesus as he was born at this day.”

CHRIS JESUS?!?!?! YES! Immediately I thought, ‘this is the greatest DJ name I’ve ever heard’. Ladies and gentlemen, how are you all doing this evening?! Are you ready to party like we’re in the North Pole, where all the straight up gangsters live? Let me hear some noise for DJ Chris Jesus!!! DJ Chris Jesus in the house right nowwwww!

(Don't believe me and think I'm making this shit up?! BOOM! I took a picture of this response for posterity:)

I read this response to my coworker and, I shit you not, he said VERBATIM, “Chris Jesus would be a sweet DJ name.” So there you have it. I now have to become a DJ and adopt the name Chris Jesus. Hey Sean! Can you change your DJ name to Chris Jesus? I’d be so happy if you did!!! (Shout out to my friend Sean who’s a DJ and will, from this day forward, be referred to by me as DJ Chris Jesus).

So my Christmas gift from my class was clearly some huge smiles and even bigger laughs. They actually did give me a Christmas gift: a jar of warm wishes all personalized for me. I almost cried when I read them. These kids are seriously just a bundle of cotton candy in the form of Chinese children. What did I do to deserve all this glory every day of the week! 

These kids warm my heart. From the stupid little weird cakes to Parent Claus to Chris Jesus – the true meaning of Christmas, didn’t you know?! – what a day.

What I didn’t capture, but what very much happened, was in the same responses about the Injuns and Chris Jesus were claims that Santa Claus was not real, but these kids had faith!

“I always believe in Santa Claus even though he is my mom.”

“My brother and classmates tells me Santa Clause is not real but at Christmas I sprint to the sofa and stay there for many times and then it is 3 a.m. in morning and I don’t see Santa Claus because my parents tells me Santa Clause is not real. But I still want to wait for Santa Clause and believe in Santa Clause.”

The dedication!! I BELIEVE!! The passion in these kids… They believe in Santa and want to eat turkey with the Injuns and not have to eat stupid cakes if they don’t want to. The world is a beautiful place.

In conclusion, I firmly believe at least 50% of my grade 6 class is made up of Care Bears dressed as Chinese kids. If you saw my favourite little guy (let’s call him G) skipping around at 7am on the deserted playground waiting for me and Bernard to walk up to breakfast just so he could say HELLO MRS. SARAH AND MR. BERNARD. HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! and then skip away leaving a trail of happiness and sunshine behind him, omg, you would never have a bad day ever again. Everyone, rightly so, is jealous because he is my student and not theirs.

Also, it’s relevant to know that school begins at 8am… he just comes early to hopefully catch a glimpse of his favourite teachers and wave at them emphatically like we are One Direction and he’s a screaming fan girl.

My life is the best… holy shit.

Happy 2015! I promise to blog more hilarious stories this year even though I work 56 hours a day. Blame my father! He instilled the hardworking gene in me! And by hardworking, I mean hardestworking. J

Yours truly,

Sarah teaching hilarious Wuns

Christmas in the 'hai

Another Christmas in Shanghai

Spending the holiday season away from family doesn’t get easier. I’ve spent the past three years in a different country than my family, and every year around the beginning of December, I get a little blue. Yes, I’m with my husband who is now my family, and thank goodness for that. I am also surrounded by people in my same situation: people who have spent many years away from their home and continue to find warmth and holiday happiness in their home away from home.

Christmas overseas is weird but awesome. You find yourself creating a “friend family” quite quickly when living overseas, not just around the holidays.

A few weeks ago, we went skating with friends. Just last year, we spent our first Christmas in China skating with our new friends and colleagues and it was absolutely splendid. This year was no different! We laughed and skated and just enjoyed our company and the holiday season.

Some of the warmest, friendliest dudes in the 'hai!

Christmas Eve was spent at a hotel banquet hall watching our students perform at a Christmas concert. We were also lucky to participate in the show, which was a spectacle to say the least! We then were invited to a Christmas lunch where we were showered with chocolates and praise from students and parents. It was great!

That evening, we cooked up some vegetables and headed over to a Christmas Eve potluck. We all enjoyed some holiday-mulled wine and China-ed up the event with a duck and some other Chinese goodies. Despite being so far away, I felt right at home.

Christmas Day was low key. We lazed around opening gifts, eating for 4783, and Skyping with Mom and Dad in the morning. I got a billion fuzzy socks (necessary for the bitter Shanghai cold and even more necessary for the bitter cold of our uninsulated apartment). Christmas is awesome. I love it every year!!! We’re really lucky to get Christmas as a holiday (we got Thursday, Friday off and then the weekend). In only one month, we get Chinese New Year festival off (almost 4 weeks!). We’ve already booked a trip to Thailand, and to say I’m excited is the biggest understatement ever! It’ll be a grand trip and I cannot wait!!! Not that I’m not looking forward to the next few weeks teaching a few new units to my students and enjoying the ride that is IB teaching. J 

Life is good. Merry Christmas!

With holiday love,

Sarah have a holly jolly Wun

The life of a sixth grader can change in a FLASH

That time I was needed…

So I love my job. I feel valued and happy and loved and all that good stuff; but on Friday, I went from loving my job to hopelessly devoted and obsessive teenage loving my job.

My Fridays are pretty hardcore. I teach all morning with no break. I love it, but it’s intense and I have little time to jet from one class to another. After teaching all morning, I packed up my stuff, cleaned up the classroom, and NASCAR marched back to my office (I always speed walk with a purpose. People at work say I always look like I’m on my way somewhere important. Yes, yes I am! Aka, I don’t walk slow. Ever. I’m always on a mission.)

Anyway, I was on my way to my office when I heard my name being called by a student. I turned around and was met with a very anxious sixth grader who grabbed my hand and said, “Mrs. Sarah! I need you! I’m on my period and I’m not prepared and I don’t know what to do! Help me.” I metaphorically tightened my SuperTeacher cape and told the student (let’s call her S) to come with me to my office. At this point, the second bell rang and S looked like she was about to cry. She said she had to go to class because her teacher would be angry she was late, but she couldn’t because she felt uncomfortable and she didn’t know what to do.

I told S to calm down and that I would talk to her teacher. I asked if she had a pad and she looked confused. Then I asked her in Chinese, and she got even more anxious and shook her head, saying she was unprepared. I told her no problem and to come with me. Thank goodness I had supplies! As a woman, I am always prepared for a situation like this, especially working in a middle school with girls who will inevitably need supplies that they don’t have because they cannot anticipate puberty…

Anyway, she came and lingered outside my office while I grabbed a pad from my desk. I then walked her to the bathroom and came in with her. I showed her the pad and started to explain what she could do. She was really nervous and said “but what if…” to which I answered her questions (no need to go into detail. The main point is, I helped her and calmed her down before leaving).

“So take this and please come to me if you need anything else. You’ll be fine! Remember what I said in FLASH? This happens to every girl, so you are not alone. Get cleaned up and I’ll wait for you outside.”

“Mrs. Sarah?”

“Yes, S?”

“I’m scared…”

My Mother Hen began clucking like crazy at this point and I was like, holy shit, this is such a beautiful feeling, I want a child right now, and then approximately 46 seconds later, I snapped out of it…

“I know you are.” I smiled and gently touched her shoulder in a proud mama kind of way, “You’ll be okay. Do you want me to wait here for you?” Cue LifeTime movie music

She shook her head, so I took my cue and left. I walked briskly to her classroom where the geography teacher was setting up her lesson. Luckily, I know the geography teacher, so she wasn’t super pissed when I interrupted the class. I walked up to her and whispered, “Hey! Sorry to interrupt, but S is in the bathroom. She’s on her period and she needed my help. She will be late and I told her I would tell you. Please don’t be angry with her.” The teacher smiled and nodded. We then shared a brief moment of ‘I’m a woman who has had approximately 600 periods and I totally remember the first one and I get you girl. Pussies unite!’

I went back to my office, put my hand over my heart, and felt like I was a 34 year old mama. It was a cool feeling. I felt so needed! “My FLASH class worked,” I said out loud in my office. A few of my coworkers smiled at me and said it was an important class. I felt really, really good.

For the rest of the day, I thought about S. I didn’t want to like, ask her “Are you okay?” in the middle of the hall or anything. I didn’t want to draw attention because omg, grade 6 kids spread information like roaches spread their offspring. It’s crazy how anything said or thought in the hallway is spread like wildfire. Something can happen in my class and before it ends, Bernard will know about it because a grade 6 kid will run to his office and be like, “Mr. Bernard! Mrs. Sarah danced to Taylor Swift today!! Do you like Taylor Swift? We’re reading a book in class…” and then Bernard will smile and nod and be extremely sweet and listen to the life of any grade 6 student who comes to him desperately wanting someone to listen to his or her redundant, yet adorable, stories.

So I’m in my office marking papers when there’s a knock at the door. I don’t look up because there are like 8 people in my office and students come in for different teachers all the time. And then there’s a little sound, “Uh, Mrs. Sarah?” I look up and it’s S. She looks a little pale but is definitely calmer than before.

“I feel really uncomfortable.”

“That’s normal. Drink lots of water. How’s your head? Does it hurt?”

I continue to tell her that the first period is uncomfortable because her body hasn’t felt it before and I gave her some tips and made sure she didn’t have PE class that day so she could lay low. I then told her to come to me whenever she wanted and ask me anything. To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised that she was so open with me in my office with 7 other people around to hear her. She was pretty explicit about her period… but that’s good!!! She was scared and she wanted answers. Luckily, she came to SuperSexEdTeacherSarah. This was my time to shine!!! (My grammar has been rusty lately and I’ve been a little self-conscious about my level of English writing skills because I’ve been living in an ESL environment for so long and I watch a lot of crap reality TV, so I feel like I’m losing my jam…. However, when it comes to first period knowledge, I feel pretty damn confident, so I was rocking this…).

I was feeling super momish at this point; but then I realized, wait! I’m NOT her mom! I then quickly marched over to her homeroom teacher’s office and asked if I could have a word with her in private. I explained that S got her first period today and she might be a little distracted in homeroom. I then asked if she could call S’s mom and let her know so that she could be prepared to talk to S and maybe get necessary supplies so S could be comfortable.

The homeroom teacher had a huge smile on her face the whole time. She shook my hand and nodded, telling me I was a great teacher and I had “so much care for the students.” I felt like, at this point, my FLASH job for the day was done. I had helped the student directly and talked to the necessary teachers to make sure S was taken care of. In terms of cultural sensitivity, I made sure her mom was called, and I didn’t give S any specific advice because it is not my place. I gave her very general, medical advice and let her know that I was there. And always would be. J

Right before I left for a Friday meeting, I saw S in the hallway and nodded her way. She gave me a ‘thumbs up’ and I winked at her. Mission accomplished. If I helped her even marginally with one of the scariest things a prepubescent girl has to go through, well then I feel like I succeeded in my job that day.

I didn’t finish marking that day nor did I do everything on my “To Do” list; but when life happens, I can’t help but put aside everything that can wait and attend to the here and now. This is what makes life interesting at the end of the day.

So like I said, I love my job… but on Friday specifically, I felt needed. I can’t help but have a warm and fuzzy feeling when a student comes to me for advice on something that isn’t academic. I love being the FLASH teacher!!! Who’s next? If on Monday a boy comes to me telling me about his wet dream, as much as that would be TMI to the max, I think it’s safe to say that my FLASH class was ultimately hardcore successful!!!

….I do hope I don’t hear about any tween boy’s dream though. Because creepy.

Until next time,

Sarah the maternal Wun