DAY ONE:
Not going to lie… Bernard and I agreed that we could have
done without Hanoi. The airport hotel was fine and served its purpose. We got
into town just before bed time so we had dinner at the hotel (subpar) and hit
the hay. In the morning, we were woken up by crowing roosters and crazy
traffic. The beeping, the honking, Jesus it was unpleasant.
We got up early and
decided to head into town to make the most of our day. We had to opt to take
the bus which was like a cent versus taking a cab which was many dollars out of
principle (aka I’m frugal and screw you, I ain’t paying half my VND for
transportation! Stupid…)
After the hour long bus ride (which was kind of fun and definitely
scenic), we got to Hanoi city centre. We hopped off the bus and immediately got
hit by 83 scooters. I’m kidding, but it was possible! So Shanghai is heavily
populated and riddled with billions of scooters, but Hanoi made Shanghai look
like a deserted ghost town! It was crazy.
We were both stressed out the entire
time and only snapped a few gorgeous photos of some train tracks and livestock.
We picked up a road Banh Mi (Vietnamese sandwich) from a stall and roamed
around to try and find a famous prison museum. We never actually found this
prison and no one seemed to know what we were talking about when we mentioned
it. Stupid Hanoi...
The most entertaining thing that happened in Hanoi was when
we finally found an area that wasn’t just pollution and scooters. We crossed
the street and an old woman on the street tried to shove a donut-like treat at
me. I shook my head and trudged on but then I turned around and saw my darling
husband smiling and chewing that donut treat!! Damn it. I sighed and walked over
and reluctantly ate one from the woman. It was alright. Then, the woman started
putting a bunch of them in a bag and quoting a price. We thought she said
50,000VND (which is like $2 USD which in my opinion is ridiculous because I’m
cheap), but when Bernard gave her a 200,000 and expected change, she asked for
more! We then realized she said 250,000 VND and I was like “WHAT?! No!” I was
offended and yet my beautiful, smiley nice ass Canadian husband just nodded and
gave her the money! He then thanked her for scamming the shit out of us and
skipped off. I was like, “Bernard do you realize how much 250, 000 VND is?!” He
just looked at me sweetly and started eating his “treasures”. He offered me one
and I felt like I had to eat it because I just paid $10 USD for this shit! It
tasted like it had been made by Noah when he built the ark and it had a hint of
car exhaust and rotting garbage. Also, it was stone ass hard. Bernard felt so
bad and I had a really good laugh at him for being so nice and trusting in South
East Asia! TIP: You gotta keep walking and not make eye contact and always
watch your wallet! Bernard then confirmed that he would eat and enjoy all of
these treats and the million dollars he spent would be worth it. I said not to
worry and we laughed about it for a bit. When you travel, you have to account
for stupid stuff like that. Besides, it makes for a great story! As we walked
along a pretty river, I turned to tell Bernard how much I just enjoyed being
here with him and saw him sneaking his “treasures” into a nearby garbage bin!
“Babe, I’m sorry. I can’t eat them. They’re so gross!” We laughed for like 3
hours about this and added at least 5 points onto our power couple status as we
linked arms and made fun of ourselves for being so damn polite and oblivious.
At the end of the day, we hopped that the woman who just earned a bucket worth
of money by Vietnamese peddling standards was having a nice dinner and smiling
happily at her bounty. Speaking of a nice dinner, we laughed so hard that we
were starting to get hungry… since the rock car exhaust treasure didn’t satiate
in the least.
After the Pho, we found the bus stop and hopped on. Sweet
Jesus, it was a long bus ride. We were told it would take less time to get back
towards the airport, but after an hour and a half, I was dying of a headache
and you can only imagine what my weak 80 year old stomach was doing: circus
flips!
We settled the bill at the hotel and got a lift to the
airport. We were frankly quite happy to leave Hanoi. The scamming, the busy
atmosphere, the pollution… were we not just in Shanghai?!
Until the next adventure,
The stressed Wuns
No comments:
Post a Comment